Mozzie bites and memories

Do the holidays seem like they happened ages ago? Does it feel like all you have left of the holiday are mozzie bites and memories? Or are you still feeling upbeat and energised? For me, this has been a very long seeming week... and I miss having my family around. BUT, it is a whole new year!

It is 2017 and (that's ridiculous and insane and where does the time go?) the New Year gives you the opportunity to reflect on life and decide what you like and what you would like to change. It puts a full stop on the previous year, whether good or bad (even if it is a totally artificial full stop given that the 2016 day isn't extraordinarily different to the 2017 day). It gives people, organisations and countries a chance to reset their stats and try better for the year and stops the list of famous people that have died in 2016 (thank goodness). 

If you are looking for New Year's Resolutions (it really is never too late) think about becoming a revolutionist by cutting out/down on meat.  If you haven't already (and I can't imagine why not) commit to eating only sustainable seafood (check out SASSI green list or look for the MSC logo). And of course, you have already stopped using personal care products with microplastics but maybe you now want to make sure you diligently use reusable shopping bags or stop using straws (which I am all for, but it is tricky with milkshakes, so if anyone wants to buy me a reusable steel - one that's actually washable - my birthday is coming up... and so are most people's because there have only been 13 days of birthdays this year.)

Don't forget to use water as if you were paying for it - which you ARE but people don't seem to think like that (seriously, who leaves the tap running when brushing teeth - why does that even come up as a water saving tip?) You really learn to value water when it is no longer available... and that will be the reality if we don't meet the water saving targets. (El Nino might be over, but climate change isn't, and less rain is a reality of our future and "water-shedding" might be too.)

And, if you are already a Planeteer...  resolve to not let the horrible people get you down and focus on being a good example of inclusivity, tolerance and kindness. There would be less Trump in the world if people took a step out of that rat race and opened their arms to life. Do new things, open your mind to possibilities that are different and engage in conversation with people who think differently to you, or just chat with your uber driver - their lives might give yours perspective.  It's a brand shiny new year and there are loads of reasons to be hopeful and happy (just ask Bill Gates - Also, what is bubble tea?)

Find happiness in the small things like a walk on the beach! 

That's a wrap... for 2016 at least

It is almost that time of year when South Africa shuts down, and I know I won't be blogging again before the end of 2016. What a year it has been (for the world - for me, personally, it hasn't really been that noteworthy). I look forward to it being over and I hope that 2017 includes more rational decisions in the global community.  I hope that people will be kinder and make decisions that are rational rather than from a place of fear. I hope that science will not be ignored and that Trump will turn out to not be an idiot and that Zuma will stop being one. 

However, I hope to make the most of the rest of 2016 and I hope you do too. I love this time of year, I love the sunshine, the long days, the bubbles and crisp white wines. I love that I get to see most of my family and be in touch with friends I haven't spoken to in a while. 

I am looking forward to lazy days, early morning walks on the beach, plunges into the pool and cuddles with the dogs. I am looking forward to laughing and being a tiny bit silly. I can't wait to hug my folks (and all the people I love) and eat mom's mince pies. 

I am also looking forward to 2017 and making NY resolutions that I may, or may not keep. I want to explore my beautiful country more; to swim, in rivers, seas or pools; mostly, I want to make sure that no matter the number of horrible news stories I read, that I am kinder and optimistic and proactive in speaking up for things that matter to me. 

A campsite just outside Greyton. I can't wait to find more fab
places to visit in 2017! 

So, I wish you all the very best over this festive season and I hope it is safe and happy. I hope you have fun and come back to 2017 ready to also be kinder and optimistic and proactive in speaking up for things that matter to you, because, more and more, I think we need to stop relying on someone else to sort things out and we need to make sure our voices are heard. 

OK, but MOSTLY, just have a lovely festive season and drink champagne and wear sunscreen! (Apologies to those up north - but you can enjoy mulled wine and wear... LOTS!)

Magic Faraway Tree

Authentic photo of my view -
can you spot the magic faraway tree?

There is a tree that I can just see out the window (if I lean back and swivel a little) of my office in Kirstenbosch. It is weirdly taller than everything around it. I could, I suppose walk to it one day to see if it is because it is on a little mound or if it really is just huge, but I like to think of it as just a huge tree looking down at all the other trees. When I started here, it was bare of leaves and stood out like a majestic Winter Monarch. (Although in those days, I wasn't at the window desk so I had to walk over to the window to see it or go upstairs for tea - but it was Winter so I was drinking lots of tea). Even without leaves it was striking but as what passes for Spring in Cape Town approached, it started to get those light almost neon green leaves, just a scattering at first and then over all its fingers. Now, not only does the sun shine finally shine through the window, but the tree is covered in a thick coat of dark green and stands out against the lush mountain slopes behind it.

I know that that was a long paragraph to describe a tree, but the thing is I have become quite fond of that tree. And not just the tree, but having an office on the side of a mountain that is as moody as it is beautiful. I love being able to predict how long from when the rain starts falling that the waterfall will start cascading down the ravine - that is of course when I can see the mountain through the clouds. I love that during the course of the day the shadows seem to highlight different portions of the mountain (although I didn't love it when the sun disappeared completely at 3 pm in the depths of Winter).  I love that the trees right on the top of the mountain look like Lego trees and that the rocks change colour. I want to giggle gleefully every time I drive home because I have the mountain on my right and the whole of Cape Town spread out for me on the left (it is also good in the morning when the Stellenbosch mountains are waking up with the sun - but I tend to be more distracted in the morning). On that note though, I also LOVE that the drive here is so short and that finding parking is so easy!  I also love having my office to myself (at least some of the time) and that I get to write on a big white board in four different colours!!!

All this exuberant happiness is bubbling to the surface because it is SUMMER! This part of the year feels a little like downhill cycle (I have not been on a bicycle for ten years, blush, but I remember liking that feeling) towards (dare I say it?) Champagne season. To be completely honest, this has been a tough week, I have found the protests personally emotionally draining for reasons I can't quite articulate because I have not been involved in them or directly affected by them (nor do I want to comment on them so I am going to stop there). I  have been rejected from another job post interview - which is quite a feat actually because I have only applied for two things since starting at IOI-SA, maybe it was three. And I have started to realise that soon I am going to have to acknowledge that my end of contract date (24 December) isn't that far away and I need to be proactive about finding work (AGAIN).   

Summer sunset concerts and long sunshiny days

And YET, these warm long days fill me with happiness. Soon I will be going to visit my folks for long walks on the beach and two of my favourite friends that I haven't seen in far too long will also be there. One of my favourite friends from Canada is also in town at the moment for a conference which is really exciting. I also feel like people start to come out of hibernation (or maybe it is just that I come out of hibernation) and start organising things to make the most of the fabulous weather, the very air starts to smell of braai smoke, jasmine and sunshine. There are exciting things happening in town, the open air movies, summer sunset concerts and because it is an El Nino year we might even be able to swim in the sea without loosing toes (I am trying to find a tiny positive in a global weather phenomenon that is likely to cause drought and possibly other horrible things that I am not insensitive to I promise!) And then, (dare I actually say it) there is Christmas in 9 weeks and my family will be together which is the most anyone could ask Santa for (but looking forward to the pool and braais and champagne too!) 

So, with sunscreen on, let's make the most of the sunshine and happiness... (Regardless what happens on Saturday evening - but holding thumbs for a Bok win!)

Reduce, Reuse, Recycle

A really lovely place to picnic if it wasn't covered in tiny
pieces of class and hundreds of cigarette butts. 

On Saturday, we went to help out with a beach clean up in Kalk Bay. For the Capetownians, you know the beach underneath the bridge before you get to the harbour? The dodgy, dirty one? Yes, that's it. On Saturday it wasn't actually that dirty, this didn't fill me with joy though because I am sure much of the rubbish has been swept out to sea during recent rainy days and Spring tides. Nevertheless we still found plenty of small things (and not so small things) to keep us busy (and incidentally to make my hamstrings really stiff - more pilates required!)

The beach clean up came after a "African Marine Debris Summit" that I managed to sneak in to because it was held in my lovely office building. There was an interesting mix of business and conservation which I think is important. There is no use having conservationists telling conservationists how evil industry is, I don't think that gets anyone anywhere. It was interesting to hear that there is no legal requirement for manufacturers to put a label on the products to say whether they are recyclable. It was more interesting to hear that much of the lobbying for responsible plastic manufacture and recycling initiatives comes from passionate people in the plastic manufacturing world. 

It was also interesting to hear how the South African recycling industry has the capacity to expand and is leading the way in Africa. It was crazy to hear that businesses do not want to advertise the fact that their products are almost 100% recycled plastic because they believe their consumers wouldn't want to buy their products if they knew! (I would be shouting it off the rooftops!) It was also interesting to hear that only recently has a company bought a machine that can deal with the portion sized yoghurt tubs that I have been faithfully sending off for recycling for years. At least part of the reason somethings can't be recycled is because companies don't want to use water soluble glue to put the labels on and because they use multiple materials on one product (foil seal, paper label etc). Much of the decision about what gets recycled or not is at the conveyor belt where people manually sort through things and therefore choose large over small, clean over gross... That's what it comes down to... 

I want to rant about the fact that there are still some people that don't sort their recycling out from their rubbish. Wouldn't it be better to pay people to sort through recycling at a recycling station rather than a landfill? I want to rant about the fact that there are people who think it is OK to throw their cigarette butt out their car window, educated adults that should know better. What do you think happens to your cigarette butt? Besides the fact that I have read somewhere that those horrible cigarettes actually impact on birds' eggs because they pick up them up to line their nests, where do you think they go? I want to rant about the fact that people use the excuse of "job creation" to justify their littering. 

OK, I am limiting the rant to one paragraph because no one likes to listen to angry ranting. While I was picking up endless cigarette butts, glass shards and bottle caps on Kalk Bay beach I was wondering where I learnt that it was not OK to litter. I don't remember one moment that made me realise. I know my 8 year old niece is disgusted by litter... how can we get more people to be? How can we make it socially unacceptable? I think people are bombarded with so many causes and troubles that the emotive tales of baby leatherbacks dying from ingested microplastic will be ignored because people can't cope with more bad news (yes, that was one of the talks). 

I am not sure of the answer... but I do know that this is something that we can all help with. I am such a confrontation-avoider and hate talking to strangers but maybe I have to get over that when I see people littering. Maybe we should all carry a bag with us to pick up litter EVERYTIME we go to the beach (I know my Dad does). And maybe we should be selective in our purchases by looking for the labels that tell us what type of plastic it is and whether it can be recycled. I know that un-dyed plastic is also easier to recycle so that is something simple to look out for. Check out some of these websites for more information:

Treevolution or Cape Town Green Map or  WWF South Africa

And talk about it! (In a non-ranting way, sorry about the rant but my fingers smelt like an ash tray and my hamstrings are still stiff!)

Dog wisdom

I want to introduce you to Jack. Jack is not a Jack Russel although there is a certain resemblance. He is around 14 and originally from Johannesburg. A couple of years ago he was starting to look really old. He really struggled in Winter because it can get very cold in Johannesburg, particularly at night (that random bit of information is for the foreign readers). So, Jack retired down to the south coast of KwaZulu-Natal (where it is less cold and he gets to go to the beach every day) and became years younger again. It is a pretty remarkable difference. (It suggests that maybe we should all be living on the south coast... OK, maybe that is just my current wishful thinking). 

Anyway, you didn't actually need to know any of this, but it adds back story to my mini light bulb moment on our daily beach walk today. Jack likes to walk forward, he will put up with turning off the path to the pools if the other dogs insist, but as a whole he likes to keep going straight on (unless he is stopping for one of his many sniffs and leg-lifts). He behaves really well and generally responds to little tugs on the lead when I get impatient waiting for him to finish smelling the canine community news reports. The only time that he really requires persuasion is when us lazy humans decide it is time to turn around and go back home. This goes against everything Jack believes in (which, as I said, is to go forward). 

Today, I was a little exasperated (and there is that slight feeling of guilt because we could of course walk further but then we will have to walk back further too) and asked Jack (out-loud in that way that perfectly sane people talk to their dogs) what it is that makes him so excited about the next step. 

I know... light bulb moment... OK, maybe it is not immediately obvious but as I said it, it made me ask myself why I am not so excited for the next step. The most immediate answer is that I don't have any idea what the next step is and I am someone that likes to know where I am going to be in 6 months time (I may have mentioned that already), so the not-knowing and diminishing bank balance (particularly in light of the sms I keep getting telling me I have to buy a TV licence - as if that's how I want to spend my money) is causing stress. And today I was told that I need to move out of my BEAUTIFUL office in UCT which makes going back no longer a possibility. (This was inevitable, expected and completely reasonable, and to be honest, it was a very nicely phrased email that still gave me an option of having 'floating space' in the lab - but it still made me feel a little lost, dispensable and unemployed (so that answers that question)). 

BUT, this should be an exciting time, a time of new beginnings and options (although it really doesn't feel like it), hope and possibility. I should take a page out of the wise old Jack's book: look forward and be excited about the next step... whatever that step may be. 

Well, actually, I am posting this today because the next step is that I am flying up to JHB (City of Gold, Red and Orange) on Friday so I won't be able to post then (and the light bulb moment happened today). I am devastated to turn away from the daily walks on the beach and the constant sound of crashing waves (and Jack and Dingo and Brinny. Oh and my awesome folks) but I am looking forward to spending time with the people I love up there and seeing my school friends. I am also hoping that the aura of JHB work ethic will blow away the lazy-beach-bum mist that has settled on my brain. Papers need to be written and work needs to be found and I am going to try very hard to look forward and be excited about whatever the next step brings... 

And Brinny, because there is no favouritism
here. 

Introducing Dingo

On holiday or Unemployed?

So, I have finished my PhD, and I think I deserve a holiday, a proper, really-not-even-going-to-bring-papers-that-I-will-never-read, holiday. It turns out that this is not that easy to do. First of all, it took me a while to stop feeling like I needed to be on campus all the time. And in fact, I didn't really succeed in that until I got on a plane with my folks up to KZN. Even then, I couldn't help feeling guilty that I wasn't working. And worse than that, was the fact that I didn't have a job to work on (OK, not strictly true - job hunting is pretty full time and I still have papers that need to be published... in fact, eekkk, lots to do). 

And, to be honest, everything was really busy leading up to graduation and then VERY soon after that there was Christmas, so it all felt like GO GO GO. Now, I have settled in to being quite lazy and reading MANY books and having lovely daily (more often than not, twice daily - the afternoon walks were started while I was still very much in a GO GO GO frame of mind. I find that those frames of mind are also useful for getting weird things like door/wall washing done) walks on the beach (the dogs insist). 

Now that I am thoroughly in the lazy (beach bum) frame of mind, it is difficult to get myself to focus on writing up papers and sending my precious little CV into the world of rejectability (the pool is 28 degrees... the beach in 200m away - it is heaven and I am  only human!) BUT, the point is, whatever frame of mind I have been in, in the back of my head, instead of feeling like a well-deserved holiday, I can't help feeling that I am actually just unemployed. It turns out that an essential part of being on holiday is the knowledge that your holiday has to end and you have something that you have to get back to. It doesn't help that people keep telling you: "something will come" because I am the type of person that likes to know where I am going to be in 6 months time (and then spontaneously do something different). 

The daunting prospect of finding a job puts a real damper on suntanning (OK, I never suntan, who in their right minds suntans now that we know about skin cancer and wrinkles?) (Of course, the MASSIVE storm that is brewing at the moment is also putting a damper on things). The rejection letters don't help either. One funding prospect felt it is OK to reject an application right before Christmas - have they no heart. And articles like this one about your career in science costing you first born don't help either. It truly is daunting, thinking about whether I would want to live in Texas (turns out, they didn't want me to live in Texas), Qatar or stick in the place you know and love. And even with the PhD, what do I really know how to do? What can I legitimately apply for? When would I be selling myself short? (And I have during the course of writing this had another rejection letter from a job that I was definitely over qualified for.) Who can I outsource this panic too?

Still, I haven't had a real holiday with no guilt attached in probably ten years and I am in a beautiful place with my very patient and generous parents. As much as I am in a complete panic about what the future will bring, where I will be living and how I will start paying for a pension fund (not to mention boring things like rent, medical aid, insurance etc), I am determined to appreciate the fact that for once, I can relax and read (in the shade - liberally covered in suntan lotion) The papers are happening slowly, but I think, at least until the end of next week, that that's OK. And it is beautiful here so I thought I would share some of my photos. 

However, what ever else I was going to say in this blog has fled my mind as the sound of thunder grows louder. I have seen too many modems go up in smoke during a thunderstorm to sit happily on my computer in a storm. (Yes, feel free to hate me if you are sitting writing your thesis... but I suspect that since it is after 4pm on a Friday your time would be better spent at the pub).

I guess I will just have to go and read my book... I think that the afternoon walk is a no-go... I haven't seen weather like this in ages.

Cinnamon Sunshine

The most beautiful Christmas
tree I know of belongs to
+Kerri and +Chris  who are
always ridiculously stylish, even
with Christmas bling!

I have missed a couple of Friday blog deadlines, but it has been a time of wine-soaked days interspersed with champagne. Ahhhh Christmas, what a fabulous time of year: a time of nostalgia and sentimentality, family and food not to mention a free pass for cheesy, cheerful household bling in the disguise of Christmas decorations. 

Beautiful tree at Ramsgate home

In South Africa, there is a public holiday on the 16th, and slowly the country winds down, takes a deep breath and slaps on the sunscreen (at least if they are responsible sorts). 

In my part of Cape Town, there is a fabulous period where undergraduates have slipped away, the streets are quiet and there is parking on campus and people are throwing end of year parties; then the tourists start arriving, traffic gets worse and that's my cue to dash off north. (JHB Decembers are fantastically quiet once everyone has evacuated to the beach. We had a little bit of time to enjoy this transformation in JHB before joining the migration coast-ward, to my folks' fabulous home in Ramsgate). 

Before I left Cape Town, I wrestled with the decision of whether of not to take my laptop with me. I hate travelling with it, am really anxious it will get damaged and feel irrationally irritated at having to take it out of its backpack to go through airline security. So, in an unprecedented move, I left it at home and flew to Lanseria (the best airport in the world) laptop-free (I had work with me, I couldn't go cold turkey, it was just on this old school thing called paper). 

Cocktail time in Ramsgate... 

Now I am back in Cape Town, I haven't had an alcoholic beverage since, well, last night actually (but before that it was at least FOUR days!!) I am sitting at my work desk, the cinnamon sunshine days are over and to be honest, I only looked at the papers I took on holiday with me once, and then, briefly. (I have had previous holidays where I did manage to work successfully. There was one Christmas eve on which I frantically finished a chapter and sent it off to the supervisorials but, not this year.) 

Restorative beach walks - just the thing
to help with the "final FINAL push"

I feel OK about this, even now, when I probably need to work harder than any other time. I decided that my time in Ramsgate and JoBurg needed to be about friends and family. I decided that in order to be able to survive this final push, which would be tougher than all previous "final pushes" I needed to stock up on happy moments, walks on the beach and quality, doing-nothing time. I know it sounds terribly self-indulgent, but I think it is important to put aside the GUILT and stress and remind yourself (from time to time) that there is life outside of PhD that needs to be actively appreciated because - even though it feels like it sometimes - your whole life does not revolve around your PhD (or shouldn't!?)

One of my highlights - a month in Lovely
Luderitz with the Dolphin team. 

Now it is the fantastically even-numbered 2014, and this time of year is always ripe with good intentions, sometimes referred to as New Year's Resolutions. We have a (relatively recent) tradition of sitting together and reflecting on highlights from the previous year and WRITING down resolutions for the coming year. I love sitting down, reminding myself of awesome moments from the previous year, that maybe I haven't thought about for a while. It helps remind me, that even in the toughest years, there were truly awesome moments. (I might be wrong, but I think we started this in the year of 'THE break up' and there were many moments of fabulousness in that year too.)

The resolutions are trickier.... I think for the previous three years my biggest resolution has been to finish the PhD and find a job... Each year rolls over, picking up with it more stress, panic and leaving behind a little of my self-esteem. Sadly, this resolution remains in the number one position for this year... but I have a feeling, this is going to be a good, good year!!! And, because life isn't all about the PhD, I have some non-work resolutions too. I think it would be too much to put all of my resolutions up for public scrutiny, but maybe you can help keep me on track for a couple of them (both have been broken this week, but I am not giving up... peer pressure can do wonderful things): 

 - No more pork - pigs are too clever to be food - yes, this includes even bacon!!! (Each grey word is a link to a story about how smart pigs are, there are many more too...)

 - Chocolate will only be consumed on weekends*

 - Go on holiday somewhere fabulous, not as a field trip or conference, just for fun! - accommodation sponsorships are welcome (Jenny ;) )! 

Our truly beautiful country - this is from a farm near Van Reenen

So, I wish you all a very happy, healthy 2014!!! 

May it be a year of champagne and celebrations, 

(pouffey hats and red cloaks)!!!! 

Let's all try to be kind to each other! 

And now on to that final push... 

* And public holidays, and maybe Earth Day, National Marine Week, International Coastal Clean up Day, and other public awareness days.... 

diligence fail

So, today is Friday, which is blog day... but I find myself feeling distinctly overwhelmed and exhausted. I have had lots of thoughts about what to put in the blog this week, during the week, but they have all run away from my head now. (I, at least, partially blame a Swedish couch surfer I am hosting who is 24 and has all the energy of the Duracell Bunny - ah to be young and travelling the world). So even while I am writing this I am wondering if I should just leave it for today and write again next week but then I thought actually whether it is writing a blog, or a PhD, we all have the days that I am having today and maybe there are ways to make the most of them.

Firstly, right now, I am feeling a little bit hungry, chances are my blood sugar is low so I am struggling to concentrate. This is no way to work! In theory, I should go get some food, and I will, I just want to finish this first... WAIT! Have you felt like that? Go get food, you will finish what you are trying to do much faster and probably with more enthusiasm and intelligence.

Find a beautiful space

If it truly is a day when you are unlikely to do anything, acknowledge it. Instead of sitting in front of the computer and just getting frustrated with yourself and the fact that no one has put anything interesting on Facebook since the last time you checked (two minutes ago), walk away! Go to the beach (or park), eat ice cream (this is my friend Emily's strategy for when she is feeling blue or uninspired - I love this advice but can't really bring myself to follow it). Hopefully, you will sit down the next day feeling refreshed and inspired (or, at the very least, guilty - which can do wonders for productivity).

Above my screen:
random smiley face of unknown origin,
magnificent penguin from a friend
bat from the top of last year's department
Christmas cake - I love his quirky grin.
(Please excuse picture quality)

If the overwhelmed-ness makes you want to crawl in a ball under you desk... a feeling I can completely relate to, check PhD Comics (I love these comics, I love to know that there are people out there going through the same thing as me - sometimes exactly - and it is OK to laugh ironically at yourself) or Thesis whisperer (I haven't looked at this much but, again, +Emily McGregor recommends it) or read the news and be grateful you live in an ivory cocoon.

The important thing is to breath, smile (force yourself but if you can't go speak to a cheerful friend or make sure you have smiley gadgets on your desk), hold on tight to your towel and Don't Panic (I LOVE Douglas Adams).

Terrible photo but you get the point?

I actually have a black pseudo-leather arm band thingy that I wear on days like this because my beautiful friend +Roxi Dodkins gave it to me so that makes me smile, but also because it has all these cheesy inspirational words written on it in silver that I find oddly uplifting maybe you just need to find your mojo-charm.