Perks of unemployment

a book about how difficult
it is to find your dream job
 - well, sort of... 

Being unemployed sucks (I know that's not the title of the blog - I will get there). It is scary, demoralizing and frustrating. (I definitely thought I would be saving the world by now.) You have no idea when it will end, your bank account misses the days when money went in and not just out out out (and this is with very limited spending thanks to awesome family). You don't have medical aid (eek, although I feel almost rebellious without it, and I have very few moments of rebellion). You can't make future plans because you don't know where you will be in 6 months time (I am looking for work ANYWHERE in the world).

So good, but so sad

It is also frustrating that your poor CV has to carry the burden of introducing you to complete strangers and convincing them that you really are awesome (because of course I am). It is shyly being sent to the far flung places in the world, and more often than not you don't even get told if it got there. Personally, I am also not sure what level to pitch my CV at, is it really true that you don't have to tick ALL the requirements, or am I wasting their time if I haven't explicitly worked on Zebrafish? 

Totally oversold -
this is not a romantic
story. 

There are also the hermit-inspiring questions: "What are you doing now?" and "What are you going to do next?" (Not to mention the stories about the awesome jobs OTHER people have found - although I promise I really am happy for them!) All of this makes life vaguely terrifying. 

BUT, I am a silver lining, bubbles and whimsy kind of girl - at least on Fridays. There are good things about being unemployed.*

LOVELY. Emilio was
my first crush (in
Young Guns II)

I was genuinely exhausted and run down when I finished my PhD , so a bit  of a break is a gift from the universe (do you hear that universe? Only a BIT) and so are the vitamin B injections. I have time to do yoga and not spend Savasana thinking about how I should be writing my thesis (that doesn't mean I am actually able to think about nothing yet). I have time to play with the dogs and play dress up with my wonderful nieces. 

I have also had time to indulge in my all-time-favourite thing - reading. At times during my PhD I had to ban  my self from reading because I get very resentful of having to do anything else when I am in the middle of a good book. Now I have been able to gleefully indulge in book after book. (The book I have just finished was of course a Terry Pratchett - "Snuff" - because it was the best way to cope with the very sad news of him passing away last week, I am not ashamed to say there were tears). 

Just coincidence I also
read this TP this month

I have also (and I say this with some trepidation) had time to try writing a little children's story of my own. It of course includes limpets and sardines because there really should be more books that do. This is a real luxury because it a completely self indulgent thing to do and when does one have time to just write for the whole day? (Unfortunately not in my pajamas drinking champagne**).  I am struggling a little with what should happen next, unfortunately, so maybe champagne would help. I have even spent some time trying to figure out how to draw cartoon faces - for illustrating the book - although I suspect these will only ever see the inside of my notebook. 

Life is better now!

Of course, the reality is, most of my time is spent trawling the internet for possible job openings. This and applying for the tiny proportion that is appropriate takes up an extraordinary amount of time. This is particularly true when you have to fill in the applications online. (And I still have papers that need to be published looming over my shoulder). But one of the good things about searching for jobs in conservation and fisheries is that the internet searches bring you to amazing organisations that are doing really cool things. There are organisations that I have never heard of that are doing exactly what I think needs to be done in the world. There are people that are truly inspiring that I hope to be like one day. (For example: Check out "The Center for Biological Diversity" and the amazing things "Zoological Society of London" are doing and many other cool things that are happening including the discovery of lots of new species by WoRMs). 

This made me Fernweh

Read it! 

While I was chatting to one inspirational person doing cool work I noticed on her wall a sign that said:

"I just want to save animals, drink wine and take naps"

My sign would read:

"I just want to save animals, drink wine and read books - but - could someone please pay me to do so"^

*I suspect this is only true if you have an amazingly generous family, that are willing to feed you, like I do. 

** This is a Terry Pratchett reference, from Snuff #

# I guess including footnotes is also a Terry Pratchett inspired thing, especially when you have footnotes that have footnotes. 

^My sister rightly suggested that reading is way better than napping - napping tends to make me grumpy. 

Dog wisdom

I want to introduce you to Jack. Jack is not a Jack Russel although there is a certain resemblance. He is around 14 and originally from Johannesburg. A couple of years ago he was starting to look really old. He really struggled in Winter because it can get very cold in Johannesburg, particularly at night (that random bit of information is for the foreign readers). So, Jack retired down to the south coast of KwaZulu-Natal (where it is less cold and he gets to go to the beach every day) and became years younger again. It is a pretty remarkable difference. (It suggests that maybe we should all be living on the south coast... OK, maybe that is just my current wishful thinking). 

Anyway, you didn't actually need to know any of this, but it adds back story to my mini light bulb moment on our daily beach walk today. Jack likes to walk forward, he will put up with turning off the path to the pools if the other dogs insist, but as a whole he likes to keep going straight on (unless he is stopping for one of his many sniffs and leg-lifts). He behaves really well and generally responds to little tugs on the lead when I get impatient waiting for him to finish smelling the canine community news reports. The only time that he really requires persuasion is when us lazy humans decide it is time to turn around and go back home. This goes against everything Jack believes in (which, as I said, is to go forward). 

Today, I was a little exasperated (and there is that slight feeling of guilt because we could of course walk further but then we will have to walk back further too) and asked Jack (out-loud in that way that perfectly sane people talk to their dogs) what it is that makes him so excited about the next step. 

I know... light bulb moment... OK, maybe it is not immediately obvious but as I said it, it made me ask myself why I am not so excited for the next step. The most immediate answer is that I don't have any idea what the next step is and I am someone that likes to know where I am going to be in 6 months time (I may have mentioned that already), so the not-knowing and diminishing bank balance (particularly in light of the sms I keep getting telling me I have to buy a TV licence - as if that's how I want to spend my money) is causing stress. And today I was told that I need to move out of my BEAUTIFUL office in UCT which makes going back no longer a possibility. (This was inevitable, expected and completely reasonable, and to be honest, it was a very nicely phrased email that still gave me an option of having 'floating space' in the lab - but it still made me feel a little lost, dispensable and unemployed (so that answers that question)). 

BUT, this should be an exciting time, a time of new beginnings and options (although it really doesn't feel like it), hope and possibility. I should take a page out of the wise old Jack's book: look forward and be excited about the next step... whatever that step may be. 

Well, actually, I am posting this today because the next step is that I am flying up to JHB (City of Gold, Red and Orange) on Friday so I won't be able to post then (and the light bulb moment happened today). I am devastated to turn away from the daily walks on the beach and the constant sound of crashing waves (and Jack and Dingo and Brinny. Oh and my awesome folks) but I am looking forward to spending time with the people I love up there and seeing my school friends. I am also hoping that the aura of JHB work ethic will blow away the lazy-beach-bum mist that has settled on my brain. Papers need to be written and work needs to be found and I am going to try very hard to look forward and be excited about whatever the next step brings... 

And Brinny, because there is no favouritism
here. 

Introducing Dingo