Democracy in Action

In the dark Wintery pre-dawn (6:30 am!) I arrived at my voting station to find that there were already people there sitting patiently waiting for the doors to open at 7 am. I was there to observe the election process and was surprised by the eager faces waiting for their chance to vote. It wasn't my first time acting as a party agent at the voting station, so I knew that the only queue that was likely to stretch out the door that day was going to be the one made by the 7 am eager beavers.

Once I got over the pre-dawn grumpiness I was really excited to see many familiar faces from my neighbourhood coming to make their mark. There was a nice atmosphere in the (short and fast moving) queue. It was also nice to see so many people walking/running to the station and bringing their dogs and children. I loved listening to parents explaining the voting process to their children and the kids being excited to be there too. Obviously I was also really happy to pet the dogs coming to the voting station too. 

There was a little eruption of youthful hot tempers at one stage of the day, but the IEC handled it really well and that party's representatives melted away looking a little sheepish about their outburst. The other party representatives there were really nice and friendly and everyone was there to just see that things went well. 

I was continuously impressed by the professionalism and friendly demeanor of the IEC representatives. It is a very long day for them and most of them managed to remain cheerful and grump-free right up until they left after 1 am. They were also very careful to make sure they did everything by the rule book, 100% correctly. I have enormous respect for the woman in charge of our station and the man in charge of the ward and for the hard work put in by all the IEC officials on Wednesday. 

SPCA made my favourite election
posters and the ones with no lies.

So, you will have gathered that I am a big fan of the democratic process. I think it is important and necessary part of our beautiful country. The downside I noticed was just how much paper and plastic there was (I cringed when one party arrived with helium balloons only for them to blow away within an hour). Elections, as important and exciting as they are, have an environmental impact that people seem a little reluctant to talk about. And I couldn't help thinking if the IEC went to the trouble of printing all those ballot papers, the people (ALL of the them) could have gone out and voted. News24 listed some of the numbers involved in the election - for example: 73 900 000 - Ballot papers printed for the 2016 election. Have a look at the rest of the numbers, they are a little mind boggling. Do ballot papers get recycled? Do party posters or "Vote here" boards get recycled? I hope that it will not be long until we can start having "free and fair" electronic elections. 

In the meantime, I am proud of my small role in Wednesday's elections. A couple of weeks ago I was listening to the radio in my car and they played "A World in Union" and I found myself tearing up and feeling sad about how far from being in union the world is (Trump, Brexit, ISIS etc. - see the first bit of my previous blog for a recap if you can stand it) and how that 1995 feeling of hope has been lost or dampened in South Africa. Today, I was in the car and when they played "A World in Union" I didn't feel sad at all because I think South Africa made a stand against corruption and stagnation on Wednesday and our democracy matured a little beyond the single party state that it has been - even the Rand is performing well! 

P.S. I hadn't heard of many of the parties on the voting roll, but if anyone knows anything about "The Greens" I am intrigued. Google search isn't helping which suggests they need to "up" their game. 

Mandela Day and beyond

At least there's wine

Every couple of weeks I have opened this up to write a new post... It has, after all, been months since my last post and, weirdly, that makes me feel guilty. Yet, each time I do, I am defeated the weight of the current affairs topics. What could I say on Fees Must Fall or Turkey, Syria, Paris, Nice, Brussels or Trump, Brexit, Malema, and Zupta? Not least of all given that the premise of my blog is fairly frivolous and came about because I wanted to whine about my own troubles - not face the large troubles of the world (unless they relate to the environment).

Putting the bits of the kennel together 

I was quite excited leading up to yesterday's Mandela Day. I love the concept of having a day that reminds people to give a little back. Also, it is Winter, so I am in active pursuit of excitement. I did my 67 minutes (+... I mean it is never really 67 minutes) at a dog shelter "building" a kennel. It was great, there was sunshine (and icy wind) and lots of people all choosing wood and hammering and measuring and sawing (although thank goodness they only let the skilled people do that - I already managed to get a blood blister, I am not sure what I would have achieved with a saw). 

Here's why it is a good idea to pick up litter
(I know YOU wouldn't DROP litter in the first place but
still worth picking it up)

Then, yesterday, my Facebook feed was full of organisations that I follow posting pictures of litter pick ups, community food drives and animal shelter fund raising. It was great. It made me feel a little better about the world and the people in it. Sure, maybe it is just one day that gets people thinking about what they can do but maybe they will enjoy it so much that they will do it more often. Humans can be pretty rad! 

Look at those eyes, just imploring you to be a better person

Unfortunately, last night someone smashed by headlight which somewhat dulled my warm fuzzy, "humans are rad" feeling but I am determined not to let it go completely. Today I am going to go  try donate blood at the mobile station in Claremont (it is really easy to find out when these things happen - which puts to bed one of my excuses for not doing this before. Follow this link if you live in the Western Cape, I am sure it is as easy in other provinces). I have never donated blood before, which is something else I have always felt guilty about. Then a friend of mine mentioned how much blood is needed for cancer patients which is something I haven't thought about before. Obviously it is used in many equally deserving circumstances, but cancer has made me mad this year (David Bowie, Alan Rickman and closer to home), and this is one little thing I can do to help, so it is totally worth getting over any eekkk needle feelings. 

How are you going to keep the feeling behind the 67 minutes alive? 

P.S. I did donate blood and it wasn't at all stressful. The staff were super friendly and encouraging and even though they gave me extra time to stay sitting afterwards, I didn't feel at all like I was woozy. I definitely recommend doing it - oh and I got a free bag and pen as a first time donor!

Meanwhile, the headlight has cost me over R400, so whoever did that... you are not a rad person.

Do they know it's Christmas Time at all?

Yes. I know that BandAid made lots of money that all went to good causes (well I presume that part) which is great  and that PARTS of Africa are still impoverished and desperate but Africa is huge. But, I, for one, am very aware it is Christmas time (and thrilled that it is not snowing!) (I have mixed feelings about the lyrics but not the intentions of that song)

I think anyone that knows me knows that I love Christmas! I genuinely think that people seem happier at this time of year - or maybe I am just happier and project that on my surroundings. I love the cheesy decorations and the cheesy music. I love finding gifts that I hope my family will like and I LOVE that I get to see them all soon. I also love Love Actually and The Holiday and the fact that December means I get to watch them (my own rule - but an important one). I also love that it is Summer. 

It is definitely a time of year that should inspire people to do "the right thing" and I am sure it is (statistically, even) a time of year that has an increase in charitable giving, volunteering and general "do-good-ing". I mean, even I went to help paint a children's hospital this month (actually maybe the end of last month - time also goes so quickly at this time of year). So I think it is an excellent time of year for the COP21 to be happening. I hope that it will inspire the World leaders to look beyond economies and elections and make decisions that will benefit everyone. 

Meanwhile, it isn't just about them, this is something we should all be thinking about ALL the time. And we should face the fact that it isn't easy. I love my car, I do, I love driving, I love the freedom of being able to pop off somewhere. While I was at UCT I took the free Jammie Shuttle and could feel a little smug occasionally but now I drive to work everyday. I also drive to the Common to go for a walk. These are the sorts of things that we should think about changing (although there are always excuses: no public transport routes on my way to work, and I am really walking an awesome dog who lives near the Common). 

These photos were taken in KZN in November - they were
super festive animals. I added the festive fence in -
but just want you to know - they weren't behind fences.

We should think about whether we need to eat something that was flown in from the other side of the world and weigh up the benefits between sustainable from Portugal, ethical from Kenya or locally made products. I don't have the answers, but I do think we need to be asking the questions. I know that my non-conservationist friends probably find me a little tiresome, and my conservationist friends find me a little slack, but we should be setting personal challenges for ourselves and pushing ourselves further. In 2013 I gave up pork and have stuck to that despite the fact that bacon is delicious. Years before that I cut down my meat eating drastically and continue to decrease it. I promise you, it isn't that hard (even though steak is yummy). Think about what you can do (you don't have to tell anyone or shout it from the roof tops to encourage others to do likewise). These are just examples - what are you doing?

If you want a more informed weigh-in on the COP then read the various expert reports (e.g. this one by Conservation International) or the news (e.g. BBC) or official website media reports (here). I am not an expert. I am just an optimist. I am expecting big things out of this meeting. 

P.S. Yes, I know I posted 4 pictures that say Merry Christmas... but I REALLY REALLY wish you a Merry Christmas

  

Reduce, Reuse, Recycle

A really lovely place to picnic if it wasn't covered in tiny
pieces of class and hundreds of cigarette butts. 

On Saturday, we went to help out with a beach clean up in Kalk Bay. For the Capetownians, you know the beach underneath the bridge before you get to the harbour? The dodgy, dirty one? Yes, that's it. On Saturday it wasn't actually that dirty, this didn't fill me with joy though because I am sure much of the rubbish has been swept out to sea during recent rainy days and Spring tides. Nevertheless we still found plenty of small things (and not so small things) to keep us busy (and incidentally to make my hamstrings really stiff - more pilates required!)

The beach clean up came after a "African Marine Debris Summit" that I managed to sneak in to because it was held in my lovely office building. There was an interesting mix of business and conservation which I think is important. There is no use having conservationists telling conservationists how evil industry is, I don't think that gets anyone anywhere. It was interesting to hear that there is no legal requirement for manufacturers to put a label on the products to say whether they are recyclable. It was more interesting to hear that much of the lobbying for responsible plastic manufacture and recycling initiatives comes from passionate people in the plastic manufacturing world. 

It was also interesting to hear how the South African recycling industry has the capacity to expand and is leading the way in Africa. It was crazy to hear that businesses do not want to advertise the fact that their products are almost 100% recycled plastic because they believe their consumers wouldn't want to buy their products if they knew! (I would be shouting it off the rooftops!) It was also interesting to hear that only recently has a company bought a machine that can deal with the portion sized yoghurt tubs that I have been faithfully sending off for recycling for years. At least part of the reason somethings can't be recycled is because companies don't want to use water soluble glue to put the labels on and because they use multiple materials on one product (foil seal, paper label etc). Much of the decision about what gets recycled or not is at the conveyor belt where people manually sort through things and therefore choose large over small, clean over gross... That's what it comes down to... 

I want to rant about the fact that there are still some people that don't sort their recycling out from their rubbish. Wouldn't it be better to pay people to sort through recycling at a recycling station rather than a landfill? I want to rant about the fact that there are people who think it is OK to throw their cigarette butt out their car window, educated adults that should know better. What do you think happens to your cigarette butt? Besides the fact that I have read somewhere that those horrible cigarettes actually impact on birds' eggs because they pick up them up to line their nests, where do you think they go? I want to rant about the fact that people use the excuse of "job creation" to justify their littering. 

OK, I am limiting the rant to one paragraph because no one likes to listen to angry ranting. While I was picking up endless cigarette butts, glass shards and bottle caps on Kalk Bay beach I was wondering where I learnt that it was not OK to litter. I don't remember one moment that made me realise. I know my 8 year old niece is disgusted by litter... how can we get more people to be? How can we make it socially unacceptable? I think people are bombarded with so many causes and troubles that the emotive tales of baby leatherbacks dying from ingested microplastic will be ignored because people can't cope with more bad news (yes, that was one of the talks). 

I am not sure of the answer... but I do know that this is something that we can all help with. I am such a confrontation-avoider and hate talking to strangers but maybe I have to get over that when I see people littering. Maybe we should all carry a bag with us to pick up litter EVERYTIME we go to the beach (I know my Dad does). And maybe we should be selective in our purchases by looking for the labels that tell us what type of plastic it is and whether it can be recycled. I know that un-dyed plastic is also easier to recycle so that is something simple to look out for. Check out some of these websites for more information:

Treevolution or Cape Town Green Map or  WWF South Africa

And talk about it! (In a non-ranting way, sorry about the rant but my fingers smelt like an ash tray and my hamstrings are still stiff!)

Carpe Diem

Kolmanskop Ghost Town

In 2012 when I thought I would OBVIOUSLY be finished my thesis soon, an opportunity arose to do some volunteer work in Namibia. I applied, I met the awesome people I would be working with and they said yes. Simple as that - of course it wasn't because I didn't finish the thesis in time. There was some or other reason, or maybe there wasn't, but the thesis wasn't done and it was a big decision as to whether or not to still go to Namibia. 

Although, in a way, it wasn't. I had said I was going to go and had committed to two months up there and this was a chance to volunteer, in a place I have never been to before, on dolphins. (It also meant escaping Cape Town Winter for a bit) Rad! I love going to new places and doing new things so, of course I went. 

Namtib - our weekend camping spot

This wasn't a completely smooth process, it involved a very early flight on a very wet and cold morning and a forgotten-at-home passport and bad packing but once I got there it was obviously awesome (especially after I bought sunglasses). I loved Luderitz, the people I met and the work that the Namibian Dolphin Project was doing there. We had loads of fun at Barrels, on the boat and in the office (which used to be a mortuary - before it became part of the Namibian Ministry of Fisheries and Marine Resources). 

It truly was two months that I will never forget and never regret. I wrote a blog about it even... (this was obviously before I had this blog) and my friends and family had to endure long gushing emails. I had a week off and got to explore parts of Namibia I had barely heard of thanks to a dear friend living up there. I was treated to a night in Etosha with all the magic that brings including a lion kill that I didn't quite capture on camera (I can be such a wolly, I only pressed the record button after it was finished - so I didn't record it and I spent the whole time diligently watching it through my lens because I thought I was recording).

Kolmanskop

Driving through the desert

Namibia is a country like no other (with the disclaimer that I haven't been to any other desert countries - unless you count the airports in Dubai and Doha which I suspect I am not allowed to). There is so much space. Luderitz is like an island of civilisation in the middle of the desert. I was thrilled to meet the northern contingent of the African Penguin population and the awesome lady that looks after them. I have never seen so many dolphins, or large seabirds for that matter. I had certainly never followed a whale at speed through thick offshore mist before. Visiting a ghost town with sand flooded rooms but perfectly-preserved wall paper (of questionable taste) and being dwarfed at sea by dunes of golden sand will change your perspective on the world.

Between Swakop and Walvis

Then... in 2013 I had the opportunity to go again for a month. Of course, this time I had finished the thesis (for the moment). In fact, I handed in the day before I was due to drive to Luderitz. (This meant I had a very subdued celebration of the handing in - which is probably a good thing, considering that I would have another chance to celebrate handing in in 2014). 

Adorable Lucas - the new
dolphinologist

That month was awesome too. It was great to see the Luderitz locals again and its seasonal visitors of course. The team was a little different and we had an adorable new member, although he wasn't much help with the data entry and a crazy manic new member that was very good at finding interesting bone samples. It was a great way to pretend to be human after finishing off the thesis. This is definitely something I would recommend - do something completely different after you finish your thesis so that you can get out of the thesis funk and realise the world is bigger than your PhD. I also recommend taking nice long drives through a desert with cool music (which in my case is music you can sing along to - even if very badly).

Near the border

Near the border

Last time I was in Walvis Bay -
a misty day trip from
Swakopmund in May 2009. 

When I was offered the opportunity to help out with dolphin field work this April, I had to say yes. This is not only because the dolphin work and the dolphinologists are so awesome, but also because I am trying very hard to get funding to do some dolphin population genetics research of my own and it will be great to see the northern half of the Namibian Dolphin Project. This time I will be based in Walvis Bay, and while I will miss the Luderitz-ites, Barrels and the mortuary I am excited about visiting a new place. I have, technically, been to Walvis Bay before, but only on a day trip when I was in Swakopmund for some PhD work. It was quite misty and cold on that day, but I am hoping for some more sunshine and happiness that I associate with Namibia. I think that I would call being able to take up this opportunity another perk of unemployment (although the job/funding hunt continues). I will, of course, keep you updated.

South Africa, register to vote....

When I was in my "yes phase" post break up, I signed up to volunteer with the DA. There was a leaflet in the post box - I am somewhat of a compulsive volunteer-er. It wasn't an entirely shallow decision, I have huge respect for the changes that I have seen in Cape Town since the DA has been in power here, I am a big Zille fan, my local Councillor works so hard and is lovely (and I look nice in blue). Obviously there are issues with the DA as with all other political parties AND this blog is not about politics... I am just mentioning it here because this weekend, you can register to vote if, for some weird reason, you haven't already done so.  



People fought so hard to get the vote I think the least we can do is acknowledge that by casting our own vote. In our 4 elections the voter turnout has averaged 82% and was 77.3% in the 2009 election (for a comparison, the 2010 election in UK had 65.1% and in the US in 2012 57.5%). I think that is pretty good and I like being better than the UK and USA at something for a change. Let's keep that up! 

First years.... 

The Daily Maverick reports that 77% of potential voters are registered however, the worrying bit is that they say that only 22.6% of 18 - 19 year olds are registered. Are our youth apathetic? Isn't all youth - by the way - I realise that saying that makes me seem old, but it is hard not to feel old with the influx of tiny first years on campus. 

I didn't really have topic
appropriate photos... can you tell?

OK, so, vote and encourage young(er) people to vote for the first time. If for no other reason than to keep our average turnout higher than that of the UK and USA, but also because I firmly believe you have no right to moan about anything if you are too apathetic to get to the voting stations on the PUBLIC HOLIDAY that is election day. You can register on the 8 and 9th Feb. I will be there to check up on you.... OK that is only true if you live in my neighbourhood, and I will just be there, volunteering, not so much checking up on you.  

For more information about the elections or where to register check out the IEC website or call the local office of your preferred political party. Or call 0800 11 8000 (toll free from a landline) during office hours. You should also check if you are registered. 

       

Register at your correct voting station on 8/9 Feb from 8am to 5pm.

PS The DA has also put up a good fight to get South Africans living abroad the opportunity to vote, so make it worth the slog. (Again, I don't care who you vote for, just so long as you care enough about the country to vote). 

Head up!

One of the things I marvel at in life, is the way different people perceive their value. I'm fully aware that I lack a certain assertiveness (depending on the environment - I have been known to boss people around, just a little... ) and I am actively working on it (just ask the poor people at Pick 'n Pay customer service) although I often tend to feel guilty when I make a fuss... (which I only ever do in a polite way, of course). 

I marvel at people that have an innate sense of their personal worth, who don't feel the need to apologise for taking up floor space or having an opinion (damn that involuntary blush!) or using up someone's time. I marvel that there are people, friends of mine, that don't understand if I feel guilty if I dither in a queue, or that I inevitably rush my doctors appointments because I am concerned I have trespassed too long on their time (despite paying a hefty sum for that time). I wonder how many people in the Business Sciences feel the same way... 

Of course, none of this really matters in a day to day world because I am quite good at faking assertiveness from time to time, but it all comes to a head when I am looking for jobs... I read the requirements and can instantly despair at all the requirements I do not meet where as other people, presumably, don't let that begin to concern them. I'm stumped before I start. I recently put forward a reference for myself (that the actual referee will hopefully edit and approve) and found it to be one of the most difficult tasks I had to do that week (and that's AFTER Googling "how to write a reference"). 

I remember reading  somewhere (in some reliable peer-reviewed resource like the Cosmopolitan Magazine) that men are more likely to apply for jobs for which they don't meet all the criteria than women and are therefore (obviously) more likely to get the position. Although I think that making it a gender issue over-simplifies things because I know women that believe that the things will just work out for them for no other reason than they deserve it, and sometimes (crucially not always) it does, and sometimes (again, not always) they do deserve it. 

I have mentioned that I am a compulsive volunteer, so I am so used to working for free, that the whole concept of being paid seems a huge bonus that I am excessively grateful for, even though I do, in fact, deserve it. And because I am currently unemployed (well, other than that short-term contract I started today and the PhD I am writing up) I am struggling to force myself to not apply for the positions that are offering a salary that would barely cover rent, even though it is more than I am being paid at the moment, I have decided that my time is worth something, with or without the PhD. (Please please please don't let that mean I am unemployed for ever!) 

So, as we move from eternal post-grad students, to real adults, how do we define our worth? As desperate as I am for a job in my field, I don't want to be taken advantage of. I acknowledge my lack of work experience, but hope that my qualifications count for something. I see the scarcity of jobs and hear about the science funding cuts around the world, but don't want to get stuck somewhere where I am undervalued. How do we find balance between job security and meaningfully contributing to society/conservation (because obviously I am not doing this just for money, otherwise I would have studied something in the Commerce faculty but I do need to start saving for a pension - eekkk* terrifying thought)? '

How do the timid PhD survivors, with their self esteem in tatters post-PhD, define themselves in the real world? Or is that what post-docs are for?

*How is that the first "eeekk" in my blog about surviving a PhD?

The weird things we do for...

Money! 

Of course! I am a post graduate student and have been for so long that I am likely to scratch your eyes out if you ask me how long (OK, I won't actually scratch your eyes out, but I might want to, and isn't that just as bad? So, Rather don't ask!) The one thing that most post grads have in common is a lack of money. (Unless they are really lucky and have awesome funding). We also have flexible schedules (I have discussed what this actually means) which means that we can squeeze random extra work in and make it up late at night or on the weekend, and, because we don't have any money, we are willing to do so! 

I have worked some weird jobs over the years. And, since I am hoping to start another (short-term but full-time) job (oh yes, I will be finishing my PhD late at night and on the weekends) shortly I thought I would reminisce and (probably) make you feel better about whatever work you are moaning about now. (There were some things that I did really enjoy, but I suspect they would still seem a little bizarre to non-biologists). 

Most bizarre: 

In undergrad I spent 100 hours sorting worms (and other invertebrates, but mostly worms) from Lake Victoria for a post grad that I can't even remember the name of. The worms were stored in Formalin, and to this day I believe that, after that work, my hands get wrinkled in water quicker than they did before. The money did help pay for a trip to the UK back in the day when you could fly there and back for ~R5000. 

Worst:

I can't think about work without thinking about how awful this job was and not just because it had nothing to do with biology. When a new shopping centre in Cape Town's northern suburbs opened up, they hired students to wear red overalls and be on hand to show people around or tell people where everything was. I was one of those red overalls. I know this doesn't seem particularly awful, does it? Shifts were 12 hours long, and we were paid (I think only just but possibly a little below) minimum wage. We weren't allowed to sit, or lean against the wall on threat of being fired. The centre turned people crazy and they took it out on the red overalls, swearing, being generally rude and one girl actually had someone kick her when the lift went down instead of up. It was chaos! Needless to say I have never been back to that shopping centre, nor have I worked for those "student recruiting" organisations again - although handed out fliers at traffic lights wasn't too bad and I was proposed to by a random while do a Clicks promotion. 

What I would actually do for free:

I could easily have a post that lists the things that I have done for free, I am a compulsive volunteer, but thankfully this is something I get paid for but still feel passionate about: promoting the Marine Stewardship Council (MSC). Although on a school day morning at the aquarium with children every where shouting and singing (you know what children are like when they are having fun - dreadful! - kidding!) I am pleased I get paid. It gets tiresome saying the word "sustainable" over and over again but it is an important word to say. I also love the fact that something like the MSC or SASSI program puts the power in the hand of the consumer to choose to buy sustainably and therefore encourage more fisheries to be responsible. I look really awful in this video but this is the message (I had no warning that someone was going to film me, I was pretty horrified). Incidentally, I tried to volunteer for SASSI when they first started up, but it didn't work out and it remains in my top 3 dream places to work.

What I would most recommend:

And actually what I am doing now: housesitting. You can work on the PhD while getting paid a little for looking after a house. Perfect. And, if there is a lovely kitty to sit on your lap while you drink tea in the really cold weather, or a sweet little dog to take on walks on sunny days, even better. The downside is that you don't have your stuff easily accessible and I worry a little about my own home so tend to go check up on it from time to time, and houses are colder than flats but otherwise it is good, and a change in scenery is as good as a holiday, right?

What has helped me survive with no funding for 18 months:

A friend was doing pretty intensive field work on mussels, and without that money I would have been eating two-minute noodles for the last two years. We had to install cages on the rocky shore (diesel generator and drilling into rocks between waves - pretty exciting stuff), check the cages and cleared patches (between waves, also exciting), and finally remove the cages (rusted screws - fun!) But actually it was really lovely to be on the rocky shore doing hands on experimental biology on a beautiful shore and working with friends is always a good thing. But I have mentioned this work before.






The other fairly constant supply of money has been from demonstrating for the second year practical sessions. The added bonus with that is I find I probably learn more than they do because I don't need to know it for exams, I just find it interesting. I really enjoy the interaction with the second years; sitting in an office working at a computer can get lonely and I love their (some of them, anyway) optimism and enthusiasm for science (before the PhD cynicism kicks in, these kids still think they can change the world). 

(PS my awesome family and friends have helped me out in so many ways that I would never have managed over the last 18 months without them!!!)

Lastly, my favourite:

Last year, I worked for a marine consulting group in Cape Town on a short term contract. For once I felt like the work I was doing was real and important. It felt like a useful project and I loved the applied nature of it. There was a whole different way of writing that it took me some to get used to but it was interesting and challenging and frustrating and I loved that for a little while I felt like I wasn't just a student doing odd jobs to have money for food (and, let's be honest, wine...) There was also a lot of weird bureaucracy so that's why I am not mentioning the name of the company or the details of the work. 

Breakup survival #2

Supporting Ghana at Loftus

So, in my previous post, I told you some examples of how everyone else was amazing, but now I want to tell you some of the things I did to cope.

• I stopped listening to music radio; music tends to be either about love or heartbreak and I couldn't handle any one else's emotions on top of my own. I had my fabulous compilation of angry chic music (thanks +Kerri and +Chris ) but I also listened to News/Talk radio instead (702/Cape Talk) and was more informed than I've been in ages (*unexpected bonus*)

• I decided to say YES to every opportunity that came my way. This meant going to parties I would previously have made excuses to avoid - for no good reason! I volunteered for a local branch of a political party (and, incidentally, still do) where I met people I would never have otherwise met. Through this I went to houses straight out of magazines, saw Helen Zille and got to drive ladies that had been alive in WW2 to voting stations (AMAZING!) On the flip side of this, I also went to help at a by-election in the heart of the Cape Flats, where I saw 2 children and a dog squabbling over a piece of food someone had nonchalantly tossed to the floor. It is hard to feel self pity at moments like that. 

Fortuitously, it was also the year South Africa hosted the Football World Cup and I went BIG! Admittedly, this didn't do wonders for my PhD, but it did make me very happy and I have awesome memories from this period. It would have been a very different world cup if I had been in a relationship (much less partying to all hours, I am sure) and I wouldn't have spent so much time with the lovely +Dayne Davey . 

• One of the less glamorous moments also lead to good things. (Let me remind you, I was a mess, and would quietly skulk into my office just trying not to cry, I shudder to think of it now). My boyfriend was in the same department as me, so we had tended to have lunch together and he was often the only person that I exchanged more than a greeting with the whole day (super diligent, QUIET office). One day, one of my office mates innocently said the usual, "hi" and I promptly burst into tears. From then on we actually chatted to each other, socialised outside work and work was a much happier place for me. I also started to go to departmental tea - and have never stopped. Now I look forward to seeing so many people I count as friends at work every day.  (*unexpected bonus*)

Hitting back at the world
on a night out in Knysna

• I went to Knysna for an awesome weekend with friends... and... I kissed a twenty year old. When you kiss a 20 year (so scandalous) in a night club, it's as though the whole world disappears and all that exists is that kiss. I had forgotten that I miss kissing like that.  (*unexpected bonus*) and the best part is, I went home with the friends I love, to (unadvisedly) finish another bottle of wine (I blame +Dayne). 

Being single also gave me time to devote to lots of activities, including a very rewarding year being post grad rep. for our department, some really big nights out, quality time with friends I had neglected, making new friends and yes, inevitably, more time on my thesis. It also started me wearing mascara (under my cousin Sandra's insistence - she said it would help me face the world if I feel attractive, there was a new hairstyle at this point too) and I still wear it; I almost think of it as war paint to face the day. (No idea what the male equivalent would be???) 

A long term perk of my (persistent) singledom is that I when the crucial "what next" question rears its ugly, persistent head, I only have to think about me, which sounds selfish, but really opens up the world. I don't think it's necessarily that fate hands you a teaspoon of sugar to help the rough times go down, but more that you are open to new worlds when your comfortable, rut-world implodes. 

I love the Lady Julia Grey books by Deanna Raybourn, and included an extract from the first one (Silent in the Grave) in my previous blog, but I LOVE  this extract even more.