Bit early - NYE Resolutions

So, the end of the year is coming at break neck speed. I am pretty excited because I know I have a job for January - so next year won't start out with me feeling lost and panicked... I have gotten sidetracked already... This blog came about because one of my friends sent me this link, hoping to inspire me to make the most of time but it also made me a little sad.

Say I live until 85... and pretend I am already 33...
It sounds depressing but read on for why I worked
this out. 

While I am excited about 2016 and the possibilities it brings, there are some things in my life I still need to change. A lot of these things are hangovers from the PhD - I know that's crazy because it has been a long time since I finished with that - but it really impacted on how I spend my time. From the start of my MSc I didn't really have a holiday, weekend or evening that I didn't spend working or feeling guilty about not working. (Since I am not all that diligent, the guilty probably outweighed the actually time spent working). It is a little bit exhausting feeling guilty all the time. 

Let's say I read a book a week... That's a lot of books still
to read which is pretty cool... but there are always so
 many books out there...
Let me know what you recommend!
Also - approximately
the number of chocolates I will get to eat
(blush - another NYR could be required)...
I wouldn't want to do this with glasses of wine.

Especially during my PhD, I limited what TV series and movies I allowed myself to watch (this means that while I frequently sit awkwardly in conversations about pop culture I have never heard of, I can/do quote the series I did watch more than anyone I know - go on, ask me about Harry Potter or How I Met Your Mother (but not the last season because it was a disappointment)...), I felt guilty if I went out. It meant that I didn't exercise as often as I should - this is a crazy thing because exercise would probably have helped my body cope with stress but it isn't something I enjoy so I would hardly prioritse is in a time-limited world - right? This left me feeling unfit and disinclined to join social activities  that required exercise - a real downward spiral. Oh, I also didn't have much money, so while there are some types of exercise I do enjoy, I didn't feel like I could spend money on it. Do you know, at one stage I stopped reading books - can you imagine?? (Actually, I remember when I was doing my MSc and had field work on Robben Island, I used to love that on the ferry trip over there I had 45 minutes of guilt free reading - because I really couldn't do anything else - which is crazy because that should not have been the only time I was doing my favourite favuorite thing.)

And say I get to go to a new country every year...
53 pins seemed a lot but it was tricky to place them
and lots of pins in Europe (sorry Australia). 

Anyway, this is not limited to PhD-ers of course. People are always busy! How often do you find that it has been weeks or months since you have spoken to, never mind seen the people that you really really care about? And it isn't that it is anyone's fault, it is just a fact of hectic life and geography. I hate the the time I can spend with the people I love is limited. For me, it never feels like enough. BUT, it is the festive season/year end so not a time for sadness but active reflection: it is important that when you are with people you love that you are truly PRESENT, that you make the most of it, that you embrace every moment and treasure it (even if the moment is annoyance or frustration or impatience - because Inside Out (yes, I watch movies these days) teaches us that all emotions are important).



The link summarises with three pieces of advise: 1) Live in the same place as the people you love 2) prioritise and 3) quality matters. I can't do much about 1, I have people I love all over the world and I am sure that most people have the same problem, but you can do something about 2 and 3.

53 Christmas Trees to decorate and Enjoy

So, as you spend time with your families this festive season, be grateful you are together (even over Skype/Whatsapp/Email - technology is pretty awesome) and be present! Go swimming, eat ice cream, SMILE, listen properly and laugh sincerely and drink only good quality wine/champagne! Gosh, I sound like a hallmark card... cringe. Seriously, my 2016 resolutions are to prioritse the people and relationships in my life, to exercise (but only the fun types of exercise), to be present and to have FUN - and to continue trying to save the world of course!!!

I have over 19 thousand days to make the most of... how about you?? And I am going to start by making the most of my awesome family (which is obviously the most awesome family in the world) all being together, so I might not write for a while, happy festive season!!!  

Looking back

The end of 2014 was a pretty busy time, what with having to watch all (but one - which I frustratingly forgot to bring on holiday) the Harry Potter movies (You should have guessed I am a fan and there is a study that shows that reading the Harry Potter novels made young people less xenophobic so I am not even going to be embarrassed by my fandom)... One of my friends suggested that binge watching Harry Potter movies was a perfectly reasonable way for people in their thirties to spend New Years Eve. 

OK, OK, and there was that whole graduation thing (which was totally Harry Potter-esque). So let me catch you up... 

My two PhD campuses:
University of Cape Town and
University of Pretoria (still intact)

While walking to the (what I thought would be cringey lunch) I couldn't help thinking that the arches of SMUTS residents are wasted on 18-year-old first years who are probably too young to have watched Harry Potter. The Smuts dining hall is lovely, and even if the first years have watched Harry Potter, I am sure they wouldn't recognise the crests of the four provinces of "Old South Africa" that adorn the stain glass windows.  The quad area is also fabulous. I felt sad that I had spent my first year in an ugly pink, spiral building at the bottom of the hill (Tugwell).

The lunch wasn't at all cringey. My main supervisor was also invited and it was really nice to sit with her and not talk about my thesis. (She did ask another PhD student at the table how long it had taken him and I couldn't help nudging her and telling her that it and "what are you doing next" are rude questions. He said it is the equivalent of asking "how old are you?" and "how much do you weigh?")  The food was delicious and it was a fabulous cheap thrill to have to stand up and bob my head (blushing furiously) when they called my name (every PhD got to stand up and bob - although the extroverted ones waved or bowed and didn't blush at all). It was also really great to have some friends graduating at the same time as me, so it was even more fun than expected to go collect our RED CAPES and try on the silly pouffy hats. 

Go on, you know you
can picture this in
Hogwarts... 

And then... I fell in love... 

When I graduated in 2003, I looked admiringly at the PhDs in their red capes and right there I decided I had to be one of them one day. Admittedly, an outfit - not matter how awesome - is probably not a good enough reason to do a PhD, but once I had that cape in my hands, I didn't want to ever give it back. 

blurry with excitement...
but that's pretty much the grin that
was plastered on my face all afternoon

So, we all know graduations are boring, you just have to sit and listen to a bunch of names that don't mean anything to you (although I have been a demonstrator for some of the BScs) waiting for the two seconds when you go up and spend the whole time concentrating so hard on not stuffing up that it all passes in a bit of a blur. However, even knowing and anticipating that (it is not my first graduation, you know) I spent the whole time grinning like a crazy person. We had awesome front row seats so lots of opportunity to comment on the ridiculous heels some people were wearing (no tripping, but there was one very close call) and I was right in front of our department's very lovely HOD. I am pretty sure she noticed me grinning like a crazy person, but I was really very happy to be there. 

The quality of the paper appears to
be related to the degree you are getting.

It was also really fantastic to have my folks down in Cape Town for a bit of a holiday and wine drinking. We went to Kirstenbosch's magical Carols by Glow stick. We celebrated at a lovely new restaurant in Harfield Village that serves responsible, seasonal and sustainable food - Graze - and let us drink lots of our own wine without charging corkage (this was because they are still waiting for their liquor licence so was a time-limited bonus). We also explored "The Spice Route" which isn't a route as such, but one place with loads of exciting things to do (wine tasting, chocolate tasting, beer tasting and delicious food at the restaurants). But, even if all we had done was go to graduation, it was lovely to share this huge moment with two of the people that made it possible, were forever supportive, generous and patient and never put pressure on me. I am, and always will be, so grateful to my amazing parents. 

I was also humbled (AGAIN - gosh this PhD thing is very humbling) by all the messages and support I got on the day and subsequent to it. And, did you know, graduation can result in gifts!? I did not expect that at all, but was very excited about them nonetheless! 

For those of you that are wondering if the pain and torture is worth it... (I am not going to mention the physical heart ache I felt when handing back the cloak and having to acknowledge that I am no longer a UCT student) I have to say that it is. (Well, graduation day is - I am currently unemployed, so in the bigger picture I am not sure whether or not it was). Yes, it is cheesy and old-fashioned and only a single day after years of PhD stress, but I was so thrilled to be there. I would possibly have worn that red cape (and even that silly pouffy hat) everyday for a year

if I didn't have to give it back. So do it - submit - and go to your graduation!

Of course, now to find a job.... 

Then and Now!

He who shall not be named

Friday has just crept up on me unawares... 

Stolen from the internet,
but just in case you need the reminder

You know that scene in Harry Potter the Order of the Phoenix (of course you do) where Harry is lying on the floor, possessed by Voldemort who is telling Dumbledore that he has lost... Dramatic moment... And, while that is going on, Harry is flipping through these poignant mental images of happy memories - the one that resonates with me is this sepia-esque shot of Harry, Ron and Hermione giggling in front of the fire, discussing the fact that Ron has the depth of a teaspoon. So, if you remember (obviously you do), Harry Potter  pushes Voldemort out with: "you're the weak one, you'll never know love, or friendship and I feel sorry for you." (Yes, I HAD to watch it again to check...) 

You are unlikely (thank goodness) to be fighting the unnameable forces of evil personified (and sadly, you don't get to go to Hogwarts) but it is possible that you are sometimes feeling alone, overwhelmed and as though you are tackling something monstrous, much bigger than yourself. If you find yourself lying on the floor, feeling defeated, make sure that you have a catalogue of happy memories that you can flip through to fight the demons off.  

The "bad" news is, to build up this catalogue, you can't possibly spend every evening and weekend working. You need to keep up the friendships and be open to giggle moments. My catalogue of moments generally include sunshine and wine... and my awesome, awesome (pink champagne drinking) friends. These moments will hopefully get you through those Word-crashing, R-flopping, late-night-working, nothing-going-right weeks and still give you something to smile about. And, like Harry, you don't have to do it all alone. There are people that will help, people that care about you and people that will giggle with you (some particularly rad people will do all those things). Thank goodness, unlike Harry, it's just a PhD that you have to battle with...

It's almost weekend, go out and add some happy moments to your catalogue.