My favourite month

Words are powerful tools that can create worlds, bring fictional characters to life and into your heart, weave magic and beauty, but there are some tasks that words are inadequate for - or at least my power to yield them is inadequate - particularly when I am talking about something sad in a blog that is meant to embrace optimism... Sometimes it is difficult to find the right words... but I have to try.

My favourite beach 

This week was my birthday, a happy day spent travelling back from a weekend with my folks and one of my favourite ladies (thanks to their amazing generosity). An evening that was spent drinking champagne, eating beer bread and decorating cookies - bliss.

BUT 

This week would also have been my cousin's birthday... I have mentioned my cousin a couple of times in this blog and in "The other F word" I told you that she had passed away - two innocent, innocuous words for a world of sorrow and change.






I have always treasured that our birthdays were in the same month, just a couple of days apart. I am a few years younger than my sisters and cousins, and often felt as though I missed out a bit on growing up together and the closeness that that (being in school together, graffiti-ing the patio, early days of clubbing, first kisses etc) brings. (There was no small amount of hero-worshiping of my older sisters and cousins, you can tell and it grew into a deep love and respect as I got older...) So, it may seem silly, but sharing our birthday month made me feel like I had a special bond with my cousin too. I was even more excited when her daughter (my goddaughter) managed to be born in February too! 

The first page of my notebook

I have mentioned that having to resubmit my PhD was one of the reasons I started this blog. There was another motivator. Way back in 2006, for my birthday, my cousin gave me a lovely notebook. In the front she had written that it was a book for me to write stories, ideas, poetry in (see photo). She would often say that I had a nice writing style and that when she read an email from me it was like having me sit in the lounge with her and tell her a story. (If you have had an email from me you will know that they are usually LONG stories...) Instead, I used the book to write down snippets of books that I had fallen in love with, snippets of genius, or facts that I thought interesting but knew I would forget (I have a terrible memory when it comes to details). When she found that out, she was disappointed that I used it for other people's words and not my own.







So, this blog is a little bit for Sandra, because I like to think that she would have enjoyed seeing me write, and I am sure she would have read my blog and encouraged me - she always had my back. I loved that she retained the thought that I live a glamorous life (this is despite me telling her about the 1000's of fish I had to dissect and that you can't do dolphin research in Namibia in a bikini!) Happy birthday JHB Cuz. This blog is also to remind me, and you since you are reading it, to LIVE. Celebrate life. Don't put off everything until after you have finished this, that, or your PhD. Yes, work, work hard and finish it, but also live, laugh, love.

P.S. Life is about balance, and this tragedy has taught me that, while you shouldn't save the bottle of caramel vodka for a special occasion that might never come, you should also not drink it all on one New Year's Eve...

Rather don't ask

The way I see it, there are two "don't go there" questions (maybe three if you include: "what year are you in"). The first: "when are you going to finish?" - As if you weren't feeling inadequate and pressured enough, people think it is okay to remind you that you are way over deadline and still don't have a job  (I am sure that this doesn't go through their heads when they ask the question, but it is what goes through my head when I am asked and is in the back of my head all the time anyway.) This leads me to the second question: "what are you going to do when you finish?" And, I suspect, that the only reason this is such an emotionally charged question is that, mostly, we have no idea. 

I desperately hope it will something more than getting a job at Pick 'n Pay (in the hope of a staff discount) but the trouble is, I really don't know. I have ideas of what I want to do and vague notions of what I am qualified to do and I have memories of why I started on this path in the first place, but it is not all that realistic to go knock on Captain Planet's door and say: "I am ready to save the world now - do you offer medical aid?" 

What ends up happening is you end up sending all your hopes out in the form of a CV for positions you are probably over-qualified for, but are not sure you have the skills  for (despite a lengthy EDUCATION). I have already gone through thinking that I have finished my PhD once, so I have had some experience in looking for work which, has mostly resulted in deafening silent, some rejection straight off or after a telephone interview and in another instant after a panel interview (incidentally, for my DREAM, wow-that-would-be-awesome job.) 

I decided I could do with some help on my CV. Coincidentally, one of my favourite UCT academics was discussing how dozens of CVs are sent in for each advertised post, and the tiny details are all that separates the candidates (he compared it to the milli seconds that separate the Olympic runner that wins, gets a gold, and everyone knows there name to the one that comes second). So, I roped him in to coming to talk to our post grad group about how to optimise our CVs. It was a really useful meeting and I thought I would pass some of his tips on... (I will spare you the story of how one of his PhDs did NOT get a UCT Post doc despite 15 publications - no one wants to hear that!) 

Obviously, the judging of CVs is a very subjective thing and everyone has different preferences, this is what Charlie suggested... 

• Use a big heading that includes your name.
• People differ in opinion on whether to include a photo or not, if you do, use a head and shoulders shot that clearly shows your face. 
• Limit the number of pages - consider the fact that the people looking through the CVs will have a lot to read through. 
• Include your date of birth, ID, nationality. 
• Include your academic record (marks too, particularly if your marks show either a consistent or upward trend). The level of the job for which you are applying will determine how far back you go. 
• Every time you include some thing, consider whether it is going to impress or not. 
• In early stages of career include the presentations and conferences you have attended and the drop off the less important ones as you go on, to eventually only included the key note presentations (ahhh imagine!!!)
• Unusual work or experience gets noticed and remembered, which is important when you are just a piece of paper amongst dozens. 
• So do things that show initiative.
• If you write a personal statement, you give the people reading your CV an insight into you that is not just factual. It is the bit that will show your personality and give you space to explain why, for example, you are applying for a job you are, on paper, over-qualified for or why you have not specialised in one particular field. 
• Something to keep in mind always is that the community is probably smaller than you realise, so your reputation is everything... 

Obviously there are many sites on line that can help you design a CV. UCT (and therefore I am guessing most other institutions) also has a career advice center that can help you with perfecting the flimsy document that is all that represents you in the job world. If it all feels a little overwhelming, I am trying to keep in mind that I am standing on the precipice of a whole new adventure... Good luck with yours and please, wish my luck with mine. :)  

OR.... 

Happy Valentines Day

quick, from-the-car shot

I thought that seeing it is the "day of love" I would just list some of my favourite things (there are MANY but I am choosing some that I can mostly, but not exclusively, access from my desk)... If I was Oprah I would give you the give-able favourite things, but I am not... so, just enjoy the pictures :) 

Obviously, I love Cape Town and love UCT, not only is it one of the most beautiful campuses in the world (no, really, there was a vote) but it is where so many of my friends and people I admire are and, where I can have tea at 10:30.

Check out how beautiful it is by clicking here. 

For some of the reasons I love Cape Town, click here . (Incidentally, there are some in that list that aren't part of the reason I love Cape Town, but you'll get an idea of how awesome it is - especially in February! I love February!) 

Then, for keep me sane (?) and inspiring myself with lofty literary thoughts I stalk these two websites: 

PHD Comics (for reminding me that I am not alone in my frustrations/joys/geekiness, there is a valentine's day comic today click here) and Brain Pickings (that's for the lofty literary thoughts and because there are so many clever people out there and I love seeing how they think. Check out this one on LOVE) 

There are sooo many distractions out there, and I really don't need to introduce more to my world so I try avoid watching TV or getting sucked into new series. I do allow myself to love the brilliant How I Met Your Mother (because it deals with most things life throws at you in a funny way - which is just what I need) and Big Bang Theory (which is fair enough really, because they make me feel like a normal person in comparison to their uber-geekiness). If you talk about other shows I may stare at you blankly... I apologise (unless you are talking about Friends...I love Friends).

I also love reading, pretty much anything but of course I have my favourites (Douglas, Terry, Deanna, Bryce and definitely Jasper Fforde). There is unlikely to ever be a time that I will actually succeed in not being completely addicted to reading although I have tried to deny myself from time to time in order to increase PhD-productivity (it never lasts...). I find Good Reads helps me keep track of the books I have read and how I felt about them at the time but I love Book Drum which is the book equivalent of special features on a DVD (my very talented sister has a number of reviews on the site, and we worked together on The Eyre Affair).



To counteract sitting hunched over my PC or curled up with a book I do pilates, and, surprisingly for someone as anti exercise as I am, I truly do love it. I think it has a lot to do with the really lovely instructors, the beautiful garden outside the studio, the small classes and the visible improvements I have seen in the proximity of my toes to my fingers (Honest +Kerri, +Chris). Or, maybe it is because we get wine after class on Fridays!!! (Pretty excited that I have pilates today!)

Always keen for an excuse to enjoy
the beauty of Cape Town

I love the Couch Surfing project, because it is just awesome to think that there are so many cool people out there that will do things for  complete strangers with no monetary gain. I love that people just want to meet people from different cultures and show off their home (or adopted) towns. I also happen to love meeting people from all over the world and showing off the beautiful Cape Town. I love the fact that couch surfing can result in having adventures you would never have otherwise had - even in your own town (including getting to jump the queue to visit the Italian naval frigate docked at the Waterfront to visit my couch surfing friend in uniform).

Italian frigate - travelling around the world doing good -
exactly what war ships should be doing. 

This is also stolen off the internet. It is
KISS by Roy Lichtenstein. 

I don't love shopping (particularly grocery shopping which always seems like a waste of money; petrol is even worse!) If I were to choose websites where I enjoy browsing (because frankly that's mostly what I can afford to do) I love all the AWESOME kitchen gadgets on Yuppie Chef (they also have brilliant customer service, frequent competitions and are just a really funky business) and browsing Jack Vettriano's prints on the Heart break publishing site or looking for cool pop art pictures like those by Roy Lichtenstein. There are things I do love buying, for instance wine and chocolate, but I haven't resorted to doing that online.



I have also successfully completed my alcohol-free month so am very excited to be able to drink wine again - I do love wine! But I am mostly sticking to my chocolate only on the weekends rule - yay me! 

Then, there are things that I think are really neat and just want to tell you about, like a thing for scheduling dates that suit multiple people - RAD! And I have mentioned Work Rave in a previous blog. I definitely DO NOT want to tell you about Pottermore because it is a time thief... do NOT look at it, ever, resist! (But, if you do, I am in Hufflepuff and supposedly they aren't as useless as you think they are...)




Even if you are single, Life is Beautiful, there is so much to celebrate and are so many small things that I love: just-brushed teeth, the macro function on my camera, my camera, the smell of my pencil when I write, the sound my keyboard makes when I type quickly, the feeling of champagne bubbles on my tongue, pink (or minus-green) and, definitely, YOU for reading my blog!!!!

Happy Valentines Day!!!! 

I also LOVE this... but it made me cry... in a good way (not good for my mascara). Maybe since it is a week of love, we could all do some random act of kindness... If you want, tell me about it in the comments...

Enthusiasm reload

Remind yourself that you love what you do, because honestly, you really do!! Let's face it, the pay isn't that good and while you have flexible hours that usually just translates to you working late into the night and on weekends. (Although, doing that helps me feel less guilty about the occasional visit to the beach on a particularly perfect day - something I only started doing since I decided to embrace the bubbles and whimsy!) SO, you wouldn't do a PhD unless (at least at some stage) you loved what you do, and yes, the reasons are different for everyone, and yes, there will be times when you forget why you chose this path. When that happens, you need to find the thing that helps you remember how awesome your field is... 

Sometimes, the reminder comes in the form of hearing about the journey of an icon in your field. Last week Thursday, Jane Goodall came to speak at UCT. I have never queued for tickets for any concert, but there I was on Tuesday morning at 8am in a very civilised queue (most people tapping away at laptops) waiting for the 9am opening of Computicket and the distribution of free Jane Goodall tickets.  I don't need to take you through what she said because you can watch it on YouTube or read about it on the UCT website. 

There were a couple of things that she said that really resonated with me. In fact, even before she spoke, I was really impressed by how much energy she has (she is a very impressive 80 - and spends >300 days a year touring). If that isn't inspiration to follow your dream, then nothing is!

She spoke about the role her mom played in her life, how supportive and encouraging she was. Her mom noticed her interest and love of nature and encouraged it in many ways from finding books that would interest her to not freaking out when she brought a 'pet' earthworms into her bed. Her mom was also her chaperone in Gombe because she wasn't allowed to be be in the field alone as an unmarried woman and encouraged her to never give up on her dream despite difficulties she faced along the way. She did all this despite getting criticised for letting her daughter break the mould of what was acceptable behaviour for a woman of the time and even allowing her to go off into dangerous Africa.

Her mom sounds like an incredible woman, and every time JG mentioned her mom I couldn't help reflecting how much my parents have supported me in my life. My mom is no fan of creepy-crawlies, but she tolerated my 'pet' chongololos (although I wish that like JG's mom she had told me that they needed to live in the dirt because it would have saved me the heartbreak of having them die on me despite the fabulous tissue box home I made for them) and helped me start my "Junior Greenpeace" group and took us to pick up litter in the park. My dad would always bring in any exciting snakes, spiders or frogs from the garden to show me, before letting them go (of course). I also blush to think how many times he would have to repeat the name of a bird (specifically the sakabula - long tailed whydah - I had a real mental block about the word sakabula despite thinking it a beautiful word I could just never remember it) before it would catch stick in my memory. I know there is nothing that my parents wouldn't do to support my sisters and I in following our dreams, and I am eternally grateful to them because being able to do a PhD is a privileged, even when it is a pain! And I need to finish my PhD not just for myself, but for all the people that have shown faith in me and helped me along the way.

JG said that often people feel down about the size of the problems the world is facing, and issues like 'CLIMATE CHANGE', 'OVER FISHING' or 'DEFORESTATION' seem too BIG for one little person to deal with, which leads to apathy... (Similarly, all the changes I have to make to my PhD make me feel very small and inadequate) BUT she said she will always have hope, and she gave four reasons for believing there is always hope for the future of the environment...  You can obviously listen to her in the video, so I would rather give my own reasons for hope based on my PhD experiences (so in NO way comparable to the ISSUES of the future of the PLANET!)

• JG said she finds the commitment, energy and enthusiasm of the youth to be one of her reasons for hope. I believe the vast majority of people are awesome, generous and kind. Even when it feels like everyone is so wrapped up in their own lives, there are some that will go out of their way to help without any need to get something in return. I have been amazed by people being willing to read chapters or help with analysis even though they are busy and have their own work to do. 
• Things work out, this isn't a well formulated reason for hope, but I do believe that. So even when it doesn't seem like it, things have a way of working themselves out. JG mentioned the resilience of nature, how even populations on the brink of extinction can recover. If you have even noticed how plants can grow in even the most hostile, unlikely environment, you can really do what ever you set your mind to. JG also mentioned "the indomitable human spirit" as one of her reasons... and I am sure we all have that hidden in us. 
• JG mentions the human intellect as a reason for hope. She suggested that the problem is that we have forgotten to think with our hearts and brains and too many people are living for money. I think that if you are doing a PhD it is because you love what you do, and therefore you are thinking with your heart, and that is something that should give you hope!! 

Gosh, I was trying to think of 4 reasons for hope - because that was how many JG mentioned, but it is Monday and I keep getting error messages so maybe I should take it as a sign to read some papers. I will keep thinking during the week and edit appropriately (and add in pictures that I haven't yet downloaded from my camera). Feel free to send me your reasons for hope!!