crunching the numbers

Happy Day #3
In Simonstown
visiting my fabulous,
dolphin-friendly friend (who
doesn't read my blog so I won't
bother saying nice things about her :))

Earlier this year one of my friends posted something on their Facebook page about doing a 100 hundred happy day challenge. Given my personal PhD frustration and general 'meh' feeling I decided that looking for something to make you happy every day for a hundred days is a challenge I could do with in my life. (I mentioned it in January). So, I signed up at the official webpage and embarked on my 100 hundred happy days journey. This involved me taking a photo (a poor-quality, Blackberry photo) of something that made me happy every day (bar one when I was so happy I forgot to take a photo) and posting them to my Facebook page for 100 (or 99) days with the #100happydays tag.  And now it is over, well actually it has been over for a little while but now I thought I would talk about it a little more... because it is Winter and cold and I need to be reminded that I still need to look for happy thoughts every day! My blog post was one of my #100HD moments, and now my blog post is about #100HD experience.

Happy Day #16 wine tasting with L and the Italian navy...
OK not all of the navy, just a couple of couch surfers.

First off, it was actually quite difficult to find something, at least a little different, that made me happy everyday for 100 days. There were days when I wasn't happy, not even necessarily sad, just not happy either. There were days when there were so many awesome things happening I couldn't decide what to take a photo of. And there were things that made me happy that I couldn't take a photo of. And of course there were days when I didn't think of it until 11 pm at night when I was already safely tucked into bed. I also started to feel like I was spamming the world with random pictures of glasses of wine, but, then I sign up for a challenge I want to finish it!

Happy Day #31 in the lovely KZN
with the equally lovely L and my
amazing parentals! 

Now that it has been over for more than a month, I find myself missing the challenge a little. I have had friends repeatedly ask if what ever we were doing at the time would be my #100 happy day moment so maybe they miss it too, although those Blackberry photos are really annoying. I also found that because I was bored of trying so hard to find something to be happy about every day, during the challenge I made an effort to go do things so I didn't have to post another picture of a cup of tea. Of course, I did this challenge in Summer, if I were to do it now, my pictures would all be of my hot water bottle bear or my blanket or the cat curled up on my lap while I write this (I am not on campus) or fabulous 'S' who gave me a lift to my car so that I didn't get drenched by rain twice in a day... or tea... still.





During the challenge I tried to be real and genuine in my moments, I don't think the challenge is about bragging about how stunning your town is, but of course, my town is stunning so that snuck in a little with or without intention... So, below, the break down of what made me happy for 100 days earlier this year. The categories are fairly broad and (for instance) "Food" doesn't give justice to many awesome evenings, out or at home with some amazing people. "Music" refers specifically to live music events, "Sport" to pilates or watching live sport and "Art" refers mostly to various awesome works my very talented mom has created for me but also includes cheesy pictures of my TYPO calender, "Alcohol" pretty much means wine and I stopped using wine as my #100HD moments when I got embarrassed by how often it came up (and that is despite the fact that I wasn't drinking for the first ~20 days of the challenge)!

Uvongo Beach happy day hashtag

A frequent Happy Day theme... 

I have to admit that I found actively seeking happiness actually lead to a little increase in happiness in my life. And I appreciated the daily challenge. Of course for every couple of happy thoughts I could have substituted a sarcastic or snide moment, but I resisted and was happier for it. The official website suggests that people who have completed the challenge have reported being happier every day, being more optimistic and receiving more compliments (can't say I noticed that). It also says that people fell in love during the challenge... so maybe I should do it for another 100 days... They do say that you can get a 100 happy day book at the end, which I didn't (because I am cheap and they are poor quality photos), but it was worth it for all the happy memories that can keep me warm through the Winter months! Although I think tea will help too...

Are you up for the challenge???

My favourite month

Words are powerful tools that can create worlds, bring fictional characters to life and into your heart, weave magic and beauty, but there are some tasks that words are inadequate for - or at least my power to yield them is inadequate - particularly when I am talking about something sad in a blog that is meant to embrace optimism... Sometimes it is difficult to find the right words... but I have to try.

My favourite beach 

This week was my birthday, a happy day spent travelling back from a weekend with my folks and one of my favourite ladies (thanks to their amazing generosity). An evening that was spent drinking champagne, eating beer bread and decorating cookies - bliss.

BUT 

This week would also have been my cousin's birthday... I have mentioned my cousin a couple of times in this blog and in "The other F word" I told you that she had passed away - two innocent, innocuous words for a world of sorrow and change.






I have always treasured that our birthdays were in the same month, just a couple of days apart. I am a few years younger than my sisters and cousins, and often felt as though I missed out a bit on growing up together and the closeness that that (being in school together, graffiti-ing the patio, early days of clubbing, first kisses etc) brings. (There was no small amount of hero-worshiping of my older sisters and cousins, you can tell and it grew into a deep love and respect as I got older...) So, it may seem silly, but sharing our birthday month made me feel like I had a special bond with my cousin too. I was even more excited when her daughter (my goddaughter) managed to be born in February too! 

The first page of my notebook

I have mentioned that having to resubmit my PhD was one of the reasons I started this blog. There was another motivator. Way back in 2006, for my birthday, my cousin gave me a lovely notebook. In the front she had written that it was a book for me to write stories, ideas, poetry in (see photo). She would often say that I had a nice writing style and that when she read an email from me it was like having me sit in the lounge with her and tell her a story. (If you have had an email from me you will know that they are usually LONG stories...) Instead, I used the book to write down snippets of books that I had fallen in love with, snippets of genius, or facts that I thought interesting but knew I would forget (I have a terrible memory when it comes to details). When she found that out, she was disappointed that I used it for other people's words and not my own.







So, this blog is a little bit for Sandra, because I like to think that she would have enjoyed seeing me write, and I am sure she would have read my blog and encouraged me - she always had my back. I loved that she retained the thought that I live a glamorous life (this is despite me telling her about the 1000's of fish I had to dissect and that you can't do dolphin research in Namibia in a bikini!) Happy birthday JHB Cuz. This blog is also to remind me, and you since you are reading it, to LIVE. Celebrate life. Don't put off everything until after you have finished this, that, or your PhD. Yes, work, work hard and finish it, but also live, laugh, love.

P.S. Life is about balance, and this tragedy has taught me that, while you shouldn't save the bottle of caramel vodka for a special occasion that might never come, you should also not drink it all on one New Year's Eve...

Sunscreen hot!

So this has been a busy week, rushing to meet last month's deadlines and feeling a little stressed. It is also really hot and all I want to do is live in a bubble of that moment when you have just pushed off from the side of the pool, before you take a stroke, and the water is still and clear and the world is a sparkling blue... sigh... (Sorry to my northern hemisphere readers +Tessa Hampton ). 

Anyway, so I am going to cheat and use someone else's words in my blog post today. I have recently been reminded (by a truly awesome penguinologist) of the lyrics to a song. I say reminded, but truly snippets of the song are always in the back of my head. There are things, (movies, HIMYM, songs, books, conversations etc) that impact my life disproportionately to what you would expect or even what they should. This song is one of those things. The words are based on an article written by Mary Schmich (according to the all-knowledgeable wiki) and Baz Luhrman made it into "Everybody's Free (to wear Sunscreen)" or more popularly: "The Sunscreen Song". 

"Wear Sunscreen

Ladies and Gentlemen of the class of ‘97…Wear sunscreen.

If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists, whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience. I will dispense this advice now.

Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth; oh never mind; you will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they have faded. But trust me, in 20 years you’ll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can’t grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked…You’re not as fat as you imagine.

Don’t worry about the future; or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubblegum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind; the kind that blindside you at 4pm on some idle Tuesday.

Do one thing every day that scares you.

Sing.

Don’t be reckless with other people’s hearts, don’t put up with people who are reckless with yours.

Floss.

Don’t waste your time on jealousy; sometimes you’r ahead, sometimes you’re behind…the race is long, and in the end it’s only with yourself.

Remember the compliments you recive, forget the insults; if you succeed in doing this, tell me how.

Keep your old love letters, throw away your old bank statements.

Stretch.

Don’t feel guilty if you don’t know what to do with your life…the most interesting people I know didn’t know at 22 what they wantd to do with their lives, some of the most interesting 40 year olds I know still don’t.

Get plenty of calcium.

Be kind to your knees, you’ll miss them when they’re gone.

Maybe you’ll marry, maybe you won’t, maybe you’ll have children, maybe you won’t, maybe you’ll divorce at 40, maybe you’ll dance the funky chicken on your 75^th wedding anniversary…whatever you do, don’t congratulate yourself too much or berate yourself either – your choices are half chance, so are everybody else’s.

Enjoy your body, use it every way you can…don’t be afraid of it, or what other people think of it, it’s the greatest instrument you’ll ever own.

Dance…even if you have nowhere to do it but in your own living room.

Read the directions, even if you don’t follow them.

Do NOT read beauty magazines, they will only make you feel ugly.

Get to know your parents, you’ll never know when they’ll be gone for good. Be nice to your siblings; they are the best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.

Understand that friends come and go, but for the precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography in lifestyle because the older you get, the more you need the people you knew when you were young.

Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard; live in Northern California once but leave before it makes you soft.

Travel

Accept certain inalienable truths, prices will rise, politicians will philander, you too will get old, and when you do you, fantasize that when you were young, prices were reasonable, politicians were noble and children respected their elders.

Respect your elders.

Don’t expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund, maybe you have a wealthy spouse; but you never know when either one might run out.

Don’t mess too much with your hair, or by the time it’s 40, it will look 85.

Be careful whose advice you buy, but be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia, dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it’s worth.

But trust me on the sunscreen…"

P.S. I can honestly say I dance in my living room and have never thrown away a letter from an ex love. I am a sunscreen Nazi and my hair is pretty much left to its own devices because I am terrified of ruining it.  I consider Johannesburg and Cape Town the South African equivalents of New York and North California, although I would love to visit both of those parts of the world. My siblings and my parents are my favourite people in the world, I would be lost without them. There are bits of the song I need to still work on, and I am not sure about doing something that scares me every day, but at the moment I am doing the #100happydays challenge and taking a picture of something that makes me happy everyday. And maybe today it should be birthday tea... or a swim in the sea... or the pool... or sending off two of my chapters to the supervisorials.

Weekend on the horizon...