Sunscreen hot!

So this has been a busy week, rushing to meet last month's deadlines and feeling a little stressed. It is also really hot and all I want to do is live in a bubble of that moment when you have just pushed off from the side of the pool, before you take a stroke, and the water is still and clear and the world is a sparkling blue... sigh... (Sorry to my northern hemisphere readers +Tessa Hampton ). 

Anyway, so I am going to cheat and use someone else's words in my blog post today. I have recently been reminded (by a truly awesome penguinologist) of the lyrics to a song. I say reminded, but truly snippets of the song are always in the back of my head. There are things, (movies, HIMYM, songs, books, conversations etc) that impact my life disproportionately to what you would expect or even what they should. This song is one of those things. The words are based on an article written by Mary Schmich (according to the all-knowledgeable wiki) and Baz Luhrman made it into "Everybody's Free (to wear Sunscreen)" or more popularly: "The Sunscreen Song". 

"Wear Sunscreen

Ladies and Gentlemen of the class of ‘97…Wear sunscreen.

If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists, whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience. I will dispense this advice now.

Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth; oh never mind; you will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they have faded. But trust me, in 20 years you’ll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can’t grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked…You’re not as fat as you imagine.

Don’t worry about the future; or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubblegum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind; the kind that blindside you at 4pm on some idle Tuesday.

Do one thing every day that scares you.

Sing.

Don’t be reckless with other people’s hearts, don’t put up with people who are reckless with yours.

Floss.

Don’t waste your time on jealousy; sometimes you’r ahead, sometimes you’re behind…the race is long, and in the end it’s only with yourself.

Remember the compliments you recive, forget the insults; if you succeed in doing this, tell me how.

Keep your old love letters, throw away your old bank statements.

Stretch.

Don’t feel guilty if you don’t know what to do with your life…the most interesting people I know didn’t know at 22 what they wantd to do with their lives, some of the most interesting 40 year olds I know still don’t.

Get plenty of calcium.

Be kind to your knees, you’ll miss them when they’re gone.

Maybe you’ll marry, maybe you won’t, maybe you’ll have children, maybe you won’t, maybe you’ll divorce at 40, maybe you’ll dance the funky chicken on your 75^th wedding anniversary…whatever you do, don’t congratulate yourself too much or berate yourself either – your choices are half chance, so are everybody else’s.

Enjoy your body, use it every way you can…don’t be afraid of it, or what other people think of it, it’s the greatest instrument you’ll ever own.

Dance…even if you have nowhere to do it but in your own living room.

Read the directions, even if you don’t follow them.

Do NOT read beauty magazines, they will only make you feel ugly.

Get to know your parents, you’ll never know when they’ll be gone for good. Be nice to your siblings; they are the best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.

Understand that friends come and go, but for the precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography in lifestyle because the older you get, the more you need the people you knew when you were young.

Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard; live in Northern California once but leave before it makes you soft.

Travel

Accept certain inalienable truths, prices will rise, politicians will philander, you too will get old, and when you do you, fantasize that when you were young, prices were reasonable, politicians were noble and children respected their elders.

Respect your elders.

Don’t expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund, maybe you have a wealthy spouse; but you never know when either one might run out.

Don’t mess too much with your hair, or by the time it’s 40, it will look 85.

Be careful whose advice you buy, but be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia, dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it’s worth.

But trust me on the sunscreen…"

P.S. I can honestly say I dance in my living room and have never thrown away a letter from an ex love. I am a sunscreen Nazi and my hair is pretty much left to its own devices because I am terrified of ruining it.  I consider Johannesburg and Cape Town the South African equivalents of New York and North California, although I would love to visit both of those parts of the world. My siblings and my parents are my favourite people in the world, I would be lost without them. There are bits of the song I need to still work on, and I am not sure about doing something that scares me every day, but at the moment I am doing the #100happydays challenge and taking a picture of something that makes me happy everyday. And maybe today it should be birthday tea... or a swim in the sea... or the pool... or sending off two of my chapters to the supervisorials.

Weekend on the horizon... 

Divine City

In Kirstenbosch Gardens

Today, I am just going to indulge in some of the awesomeness that living in Cape Town brings! Cape Town. The New York Times voted it the best city to visit; UCT was voted the third most beautiful campus in the world. And I live here and go to UCT! RAD! I am one of the luckiest person in the world and so are many of my friends and blog readers (theoretically, I can actually tell the countries my blog has been accessed from - which is just amazing really - and since it is mostly South Africa, I am presuming there are Cape Townians in there.) 

View  of Robben Island from Signal Hill 

This year, Cape Town is World Design Capital... and I am not entirely sure what that means. I do know that it means that they are encouraging people to explore and appreciate everything that Cape Town has to offer, which is a concept I can definitely get behind. Here are some of the reasons that I have left my desk over the last couple of weeks. 

Camps Bay taken with my BB

It is summer!!! How amazing is the sunshine? The sun is going down late (~8pm today) so you can still put in a full day of work and have time to enjoy Cape Town in the evening. Just 12km from UCT is Camps Bay, a ridiculously beautiful beach with sand so white and soft it should be illegal... BUT if the water is too cold, drinks too expensive and the crowd too hipster for you there's Muizenberg (23km from UCT but an easy train ride away). The water is deliciously warm and if you are feeling brave you can try surfing the reliable and small-enough-to-not-be-daunting waves (I say that, but I am still too scared to try it). Judging from the lovely restaurants along the beach front, (there's an ice cream place, Primi and Knead that I noticed) and in the area (there's a great Indian place just around the corner from the beach front that has delicious food but no card facilities), and how busy the market is on Friday nights, Muizenberg is becoming a more and more popular place to hang out. 

From Signal Hill looking at Lions Head

Table Mountain - of course - but if you are feeling too poor to take the cable car and too exhausted or don't have the time to trudge (shudder) up, there are great vistas from the road too the cable station, which I was reminded of when I dropped my couch surfer off up there. And there are also great views from the easily accessible Signal Hill.

Oh, and, host a couch surfer; they are generally awesome people and will give you a chance to be a bit of the tourist in the name of doing a good deed. 

Kirstenbosch! The most beautiful spot for live music, any music of course, but this year I was lucky enough to see my favourite band, the Parlotones (it is TRUE love) and am looking forward to Freshly Ground thanks to my super organised friends that buy tickets in advance. Usually I am too disorganised and they are both concerts that get sold out quickly. This will only be the second time I am seeing Freshly Ground and the first time was only little over a month ago at the Mandela Celebration event. 

With the CHAN cup happening I have also managed to visit our beautiful Cape Town stadium a couple of times. South Africa vs Mali was a little quiet but the South Africa vs Nigeria game was nail biting and the crowd was amazing. Even though we lost, it was such an awesome atmosphere the you couldn't feel too sad about the result

If you feel the need for some culture, the Maynardville's Shakespeare is a treat. Don't worry about trying to understand the Shakespearean English, the cast are excellent and will suck you in and carry you through the story with ease. Richard is wickedly magnificent in this year's Richard III, and even in this heavy, tragic story the cast elegantly deliver the witty lines that the brilliant bard has thrown in  to break the tension. (Organise to picnic before and take more clothes and blankets than you think you will need. Read the synopsis or the Phillipa Gregory novels before hand just to make sure you don't miss anything). 

Watch the sun go down at
Llandudno. 

OK so that, just some of the things that I have been up to in my resolution to make most of the summer sunshine. There are also many awesome markets, that fall variously along the hipster spectrum; so if you need a caffeine fix to get you working, you may as well get it from somewhere exciting. There are mountains to climb (shudder), dams to swim in, beaches to explore and wine farms to escape to. There is also the cricket to look forward to... If you want to escape the heat, the aquarium will sooth even the most frazzled mind (once you get past how expensive it is on your PhD budget!) 

Coffee... or high tea at the Mount Nelson
if you are feeling fancy and flush

There are also loads of awesome places to eat and drink when you just can't look at another paper anymore. I have the imagination of a flea so always tend to end up at Banana Jam - because I know it is reliably fabulous and they have cocktails and craft beer and happy hour from 5-6 daily; Forries - because it is close to UCT; or, the Waterfront - because I know it is cheesy, but whenever I go there I feel like I am on holiday and that has to be a good thing. Even though I never get around to it, it excites me that there are so many places in Cape Town to still explore. 

My favourite beach
I can't risk telling you where it is.

But GO, GO now before the hordes of undergraduates descend. GO, GO because you never know where you will be next year so try make the most of where you are today. GO, GO because winter will come, and it will rain and then you will be sad you didn't go when the days were long and the sun was shining.  GO, GO but make sure you wear sunscreen! (Thanks Jessica) I am off to spend the evening in the lovely Simonstown with one of my Namibian Dolphin friends. I am hoping to say hi to some penguins and maybe (if the water is warm) swim at my favourite beach...

PS If you don't live in Cape Town, come visit!!! I will happily show you around. 

PPS There are awesome things about everywhere, so if you want to tell me about your favourite thing from your home, please do... Maybe I will come and visit. 

.

Long Walk to Freedom

Last night I watched Long Walk to Freedom (so, no, the post heading is not a clever play on the walk to the end of a PhD) and it was obviously a very emotional, and in places difficult movie to watch. I think it is really well done despite the fact that last night I had nightmares about running away from the police, stray bullets and erupting fires... Then this morning I was listening to KFM, and there was a Lead SA advert requesting people to do 20 hours of community service between now and the 27th of April to commemorate the 20 years of democracy. (Champagne worthy event!) This got me thinking...

Cape Town city hall awash with love
in the week after Mandela passed away
I wrote about it in my blog in Dec '13

LWtoF made me realise how amazing and brave people can be, and what selfless sacrifices they can make for something they really believe in. Every day there are awesome people doing incredible things just because it is the right thing to do. Unfortunately it frequently requires revolution or exceptional circumstances (or sport) to get the majority of people to unite in making the country a better place. I don't think that South Africa can afford to stop fighting for a better South Africa. Or, for that matter, can anyone in the world be complacent about their own lifestyles when people are still fighting to survive and dying to obtain freedom and respect.

The beautiful, free, Ardene Gardens in Cape Town.

I am no revolutionary, I am just urging people to do small things every day that will make your world, and the world of those around you a little nicer. Let people in in the traffic, smile and wave when people let you in, small, every day things that don't cost you anything. Or, bring cake to tea (thanks +Emily). Do them often enough that it becomes a habit, and then add something new. I love the idea of Guerilla gardening; I particularly like the idea of planting fruit or veggies, so that, in time, if someone is hungry they can pick something for free. Today I planted a fig, that my good friends had given me off their tree. I love the idea of free food. I hope that fig grows and brings happiness to someone. I also advocate using public spaces, the more people that use the space, the safer they will be, and (pragmatically) the more likely the Council is to spend money maintaining it. I study marine biology because I want to make a difference in the world, maybe it isn't only the big differences, but the little differences that add up... 

OK, so idealist rant over, I copy and pasted a message on to my Facebook page the other day and haven't had many takers. Sad face! I am going to repost it here, and if you comment I will do something nice for you. (I am poor - don't expect something expensive but I will try to make  it something meaningful.)  You can put it on to your Facebook or not as you wish. I am doing this to pay back some of the love I have had from people reading my blog!

One of the messages at the Cape Town city hall 

"To start this year off in a good and giving way I'm participating in this pay it forward initiative. The first five people to comment on this statues with "I'm in" will receive a surprise from me at some point in this calendar year! Anything from a book, a ticket, a visit, something home grown or made, a post card, absolutely any surprise. There will be no warning and it will happen when the mood comes over me and I find something that I believe would suit you and make you happy! These five people must make the Same offer on their FB statues and distribute their own joy. Simply copy this text onto your profile. Let's do more nice and loving things for each other in 2014 without any reason than to make each other smile and show that we think of each other. Here's to a more enjoyable, friendly and love filled year!"

The other F Word

You will note a delay between "The F Word" and this post. Well, what is academia with out procrastination? Actually, I have been avoiding this post. And it seems a shame to write it on such a sunny Friday, but I think I have put it off for long enough. 

I feel like a lobster in moult (no, no sunburn); I find myself feeling extra sensitive and wishing I could back under a rock and hide from the world (a good rock, with warm water and a fairly constant supply of yummy food of course - I am a discerning lobster) until my exoskeleton grows back. I am not a lobster, and am not hiding under a rock, (nor, for that matter is there a constant supply of yummy food) but I do find myself feeling anxious about seeing people I haven't TOLD and I can no more stop myself from cringing at the "what are you up to" question than I could stop myself not being a lobster. So... because I so completely want to never have this conversation, ever again, I'll, you know, write a blog about it and wave my vulnerability around on the internet in a completely public way (but from the safe space behind my screen). 

When my PhD ran a little, and then, a lot, over time I started to get a little sick of the "when will you be finished" question. So, with a little less grace than I should have, I started saying, "you will know when I hand in because I'll hire a sky writer and write it across the sky." And when I did hand in, I did (well, I used a photo editor and posted it on Facebook - almost the same thing...). I have come to regret that.

Four months later.... 

At UCT, there are 3 examiners that can give you one of three outcomes: No revisions, minor revisions (supervisor ticks off), major revisions (resubmit for marking) or fail.  One of my examiners gave me major revisions and thus, here I sit, doing my PhD AGAIN! 

You can imagine, I was just a tiny bit 'bummed', actually, I continue shuffle between a play list of sad, embarrassed, inadequate, despondent, indifferent, defeated, blue, stressed etc. Mostly I just feel like I let everyone (including my two fabulous supervisors, my amazingly supportive parents, family and friends) down. Actually, it took me DAYS to tell my parents and longer still to tell the bulk of my friends. And I seem to still (tortuously) have THE conversation on an almost weekly basis. I was quite impressed with myself for not crying when my supervisor told me, at least, not immediately, I left her office and found a friendly shoulder to cry on first. I also managed to give a presentation at a SANCOR meeting THE VERY NEXT DAY! (Not my best but not awful?) 

UCT's Jammie hall - where the lucky ones graduate...

Obviously, this is one big failure, but it actually has its origins in a number of little failures (as is generally the case). I did my PhD through two Universities, which would have been fine if things in the lab had worked, but they didn't, so I ended up having to travel between Cape Town and Pretoria more often than anticipated. This was logistically difficult and expensive (on two fronts, it cost me money and I couldn't earn money by being a demonstrator in Cape Town). It also meant that each time I switched towns I felt like I was starting from scratch with the work. 

I had endless (not an exaggeration - I ended up having to 'make do' with the results I had once the money ran out and that definitely bit me in the bum) optimisation troubles in the lab and because I had never done any genetics work before, I took it pretty personally. At one stage, I literally felt nauseous as I drove into the UP parking lot. This was NOT a happy time. I (halfheartedly) consider giving up after my sister +Kerri  asked me: "what if you die tomorrow, you've spent your last year being miserable." (I found out that I would have to pay back all my funding but really, deep down I knew I wouldn't have been able to give up.) 

Me, in SWEDEN! Fell in love with Sweden, can you tell?

OK so, I am whinging, yes, things were tough, but everyone goes through that. A PhD is not meant to be easy. When I look back over the (far too many) years, there have been so many amazing moments (I jumped into the sea at midnight, IN SWEDEN!), small triumphs (you have no idea how awesome you feel when a PCR works) and unforgettable opportunities that, even with this result, it actually has been worth it! 

My goddaughter, Megan, and I in
December 2013

Since I have had a few months to reflect on this news, I have occasionally pondered what I would do differently, and honestly, there isn't much. It would have been a more prudent decision to work between UCT and Stellenbosch, but I wouldn't have given up the extra time I spent in JHB over the past few years for anything. I got to spend extra time in my childhood home before my parents retired to the coast (to an AWESOME beach house) and spend real quality time with the people I love in JHB. I am so grateful for the time I had to just sit on the grass with my beautiful cousin and watch her children, my gorgeous goddaughter and her sister, growing up, particularly since I will never get to do that again. So I wouldn't change anything, because

I think things happen the only way they were ever going to happen. 

Now that I have the MOMENTOUS task of fixing my PhD, I suspect that if I put a smile on my face (at least most days, definitely Fridays) then I will get through this too.  I did decide that I needed something to help me through though, and that's why I started this blog on how to survive a PhD (again) so I could find the Bubbles and Whimsy. 

P.S. I think I coped with the news about my PhD quite well because of two things: Firstly, it wasn't the worst thing that happened last year. My gorgeous cousin was killed in a car accident, and something like that really gives perspective to EVERYTHING else that happens in your world. Secondly, even though it was a really tough year, when I did get my results, we had a visiting scientist in the lab that  I had decided was working far too hard for someone who had never been to Cape Town before. I had taken it upon myself to drag him out to the beautiful spots of Cape Town, which reminded me of what a wonderful place I live in. I sincerely hope that this never happens to any of the other people I know doing PhDs, but if it does, I hope that the universe throws some sunshine and happiness your way when you get the news... 

Cinnamon Sunshine

The most beautiful Christmas
tree I know of belongs to
+Kerri and +Chris  who are
always ridiculously stylish, even
with Christmas bling!

I have missed a couple of Friday blog deadlines, but it has been a time of wine-soaked days interspersed with champagne. Ahhhh Christmas, what a fabulous time of year: a time of nostalgia and sentimentality, family and food not to mention a free pass for cheesy, cheerful household bling in the disguise of Christmas decorations. 

Beautiful tree at Ramsgate home

In South Africa, there is a public holiday on the 16th, and slowly the country winds down, takes a deep breath and slaps on the sunscreen (at least if they are responsible sorts). 

In my part of Cape Town, there is a fabulous period where undergraduates have slipped away, the streets are quiet and there is parking on campus and people are throwing end of year parties; then the tourists start arriving, traffic gets worse and that's my cue to dash off north. (JHB Decembers are fantastically quiet once everyone has evacuated to the beach. We had a little bit of time to enjoy this transformation in JHB before joining the migration coast-ward, to my folks' fabulous home in Ramsgate). 

Before I left Cape Town, I wrestled with the decision of whether of not to take my laptop with me. I hate travelling with it, am really anxious it will get damaged and feel irrationally irritated at having to take it out of its backpack to go through airline security. So, in an unprecedented move, I left it at home and flew to Lanseria (the best airport in the world) laptop-free (I had work with me, I couldn't go cold turkey, it was just on this old school thing called paper). 

Cocktail time in Ramsgate... 

Now I am back in Cape Town, I haven't had an alcoholic beverage since, well, last night actually (but before that it was at least FOUR days!!) I am sitting at my work desk, the cinnamon sunshine days are over and to be honest, I only looked at the papers I took on holiday with me once, and then, briefly. (I have had previous holidays where I did manage to work successfully. There was one Christmas eve on which I frantically finished a chapter and sent it off to the supervisorials but, not this year.) 

Restorative beach walks - just the thing
to help with the "final FINAL push"

I feel OK about this, even now, when I probably need to work harder than any other time. I decided that my time in Ramsgate and JoBurg needed to be about friends and family. I decided that in order to be able to survive this final push, which would be tougher than all previous "final pushes" I needed to stock up on happy moments, walks on the beach and quality, doing-nothing time. I know it sounds terribly self-indulgent, but I think it is important to put aside the GUILT and stress and remind yourself (from time to time) that there is life outside of PhD that needs to be actively appreciated because - even though it feels like it sometimes - your whole life does not revolve around your PhD (or shouldn't!?)

One of my highlights - a month in Lovely
Luderitz with the Dolphin team. 

Now it is the fantastically even-numbered 2014, and this time of year is always ripe with good intentions, sometimes referred to as New Year's Resolutions. We have a (relatively recent) tradition of sitting together and reflecting on highlights from the previous year and WRITING down resolutions for the coming year. I love sitting down, reminding myself of awesome moments from the previous year, that maybe I haven't thought about for a while. It helps remind me, that even in the toughest years, there were truly awesome moments. (I might be wrong, but I think we started this in the year of 'THE break up' and there were many moments of fabulousness in that year too.)

The resolutions are trickier.... I think for the previous three years my biggest resolution has been to finish the PhD and find a job... Each year rolls over, picking up with it more stress, panic and leaving behind a little of my self-esteem. Sadly, this resolution remains in the number one position for this year... but I have a feeling, this is going to be a good, good year!!! And, because life isn't all about the PhD, I have some non-work resolutions too. I think it would be too much to put all of my resolutions up for public scrutiny, but maybe you can help keep me on track for a couple of them (both have been broken this week, but I am not giving up... peer pressure can do wonderful things): 

 - No more pork - pigs are too clever to be food - yes, this includes even bacon!!! (Each grey word is a link to a story about how smart pigs are, there are many more too...)

 - Chocolate will only be consumed on weekends*

 - Go on holiday somewhere fabulous, not as a field trip or conference, just for fun! - accommodation sponsorships are welcome (Jenny ;) )! 

Our truly beautiful country - this is from a farm near Van Reenen

So, I wish you all a very happy, healthy 2014!!! 

May it be a year of champagne and celebrations, 

(pouffey hats and red cloaks)!!!! 

Let's all try to be kind to each other! 

And now on to that final push... 

* And public holidays, and maybe Earth Day, National Marine Week, International Coastal Clean up Day, and other public awareness days....