Sanctuary

In my head, there is a golden sunshine glow lighting up the room, the white curtains are playing in the breeze, or maybe everything has taken on the pink tinge of sunset. This is my sanctuary, my room, the place where I feel safe and quiet (or sad, or scared, or angry), it's where I am safe to be me. I know where everything is (except my UCT student card and keys - how is it possible that I have lost them, some cosmic-UCT force trying to send me 'Dear John' letter) and it is my sanctuary (it would be perfect if I was allowed to steal a beautiful black dog to come live with me)

There is debate about this, but I consider myself an introvert (see this TED talk on the power of introverts), I am very good at being friendly and chatty to strangers or semi strangers but I get my energy in the quiet times, curled up with a book in a world far far away (although I get lost in those worlds so I am on book detox for the moment, despite a 2-book-in-3-days relapse recently) or by being with people that know me well enough that I can just be me with them. 

So it is important for me, for my sanity and my ability to be friendly to the outer world to have places and people that are my sanctuary. That I can turn to when things are a bit hectic. I am lucky that I consider myself to have multiple homes (K and C I hope you don't mind me including yours, and, folks, I know you wouldn't have it any other way) but I am also grateful to have so many people in the inner circles of my heart that I can count on when I really want to hide away from the world.  

Yesterday while I was maddeningly still busy with a chapter that should be finished, in between our office re-organisation, with a headache made me want to whimper, on what was I am sure one of the coldest days of the year so far (I was wrapped in a blanket in my office) I had dinner plans and all I really wanted was to head home to be grumpy and work. But, for various reasons, I went and it was actually a really lovely evening and I was very pleased that I went (not least of all because there were snickerdoodles - which are supposedly a real thing?) 

So the flip side of realising that I need quiet time to re-energise is realising that I need to be careful about becoming too much of a hermit. I am finding that with mounting PhD stress, I am dreading most social interaction (particularly with people that aren't in my 'inner circle') but actually it is allows for an opportunity to think about something other than the PhD and we all need to eat, right?! (The other thing I do to avoid becoming a grumpy hermit or creepy cat lady without the cats is host couch surfers, who are inevitably on holiday and so bring a carefree happiness into my life for short periods at a time - although I am not hosting at the moment because I don't really have time, what with being in full PhD hermit mode.) 

So I am not really sure what the point of this blog was, but if you are finding yourself feeling frazzled and in need of escapism I can suggest a couple of my not so secret outdoor places to rejuvenate (I can't recommend my various homes because I would get annoyed if I found you curled up with a book in the sunshine on my bed - you can understand that I am sure!) Try Dalebrook, particularly in summer when you can combine it with a dip in the tidal pool, or listen to the trees creak in one of the quiet corners of Kirstenbosch, or enjoy having the beach almost to yourself at Windmill Beach. These are all places I feel safe to be alone in, but there are many and it depends what your preferences are, so explore, but remember to be willing to talk to strangers occasionally too! 

(Today there are no coloured words because I think the splashes of pink undermine my statement that I am an introvert... maybe... and it takes a long time and it is almost time for birthday tea.)