Never ending story

stolen off Facebook

The internet is amazing, and it turns out that I can see where the people that have looked at my blog posts have linked to the site from. (That was a poorly constructed thought, but I am running on adrenaline (I didn't sleep very well last night, 1 am seemed the perfect time to fix the font size of my page numbers) and carrot cake...) Mostly, the people that view my blog are my Facebook friends. So, that means that most of you have seen that I have handed in the FINAL copy of my thesis, but I am going to blog about it anyway. I promise that I will stop expecting you to be happy for me soon... but there is still graduation to come. 

I think some of it makes quite
pretty wrapping paper...

This is now the third time, so I am beginning to feel like a local in the DDB  (doctoral degrees board), and a little bit responsible for the deforestation in Brazil. (Although, if you receive a gift from me in the next couple of months, you can expect it to be wrapped in previous editions of my thesis.) After the tears and general sense of relief and weak knees when I got the result, this moment is some what of an anticlimax... Even though it is the end of something, I now have to try get the thing published so I need to start rewriting it - again. And of course, the dark cloud in the corner of my vision: the "what next" question needs to be dealt with. But when I left the DDB I decided that at very least I had to get a cake. 

It is, after all, important to celebrate everything. I mentioned this in one of my very early blogs, it doesn't have to be "the final hand-in" that you celebrate, it should be every small triumph along the way. Life is short and you don't need an excuse to drink champagne or eat cake. So, I am going to take the rest of the day off - COMPLETELY and enjoy the moment, but first, I have a mug to smash on Jammie steps... 

Happy Dance

I'm not going to lie, I was expecting the worst. I was picturing how I'd have to spend years explaining that, no, in fact, I do not have a PhD. I was trying to imagine how to put a positive spin on it in my CV. I've even had whiny conversations about: "what if" to which my sister replied "you won't be the first person in the world not to get their PhD". This is true. And I know that the people that love me, would love me the same amount with or without a PhD after my name, and I would after all still have an MSc, and those that know me, know I worked hard and no one can take that away from me...

And then, on the lucky 7th of October, I got an email that meant I wouldn't have to delete myself from social media and become a hermit in some cold country where no one would think to look for me! (Because even when you know that people will still love you, the sympathetic head tilts can still make you want to run away). 

I got my PhD!!!!!!

To set the scene: We had just finishing the first haul of the crab trap for the day, and I checked my phone for the time and saw that there was email. It was from the DDB (who should really write happy emails in pink and rainbows not with big bold bits highlighted in red as though I am in trouble!) I literally folded on to the side of the jetty and when my colleague asked how the catch had been I started to cry! I sent a Whatsapp to my family and my mom called in tears, and then my sister called in tears, and then I posted it to Facebook and had this sudden attack of doubt - did I misunderstand the email? I sent it to my sister for confirmation and luckily I hadn't just embarrassed myself in a horribly public way! 

I've had such an overwhelming outpouring of love and support and tears and relief that I'm just, well, overwhelmed and a tiny bit shell shocked. I'm so grateful for how genuinely supportive so many people have been about my grumpiness, stress, wine and whining. You know who you are and you are rock stars of my heart - all of you!!! (An "acknowledgements" blog is in pipeline). My phone's battery has not been up to the challenge of coping with the messages, Facebook posts and phone calls. 

And soon, I will get to wear that silly pouffy hat and awesome red cape and the drink the bottle of fancy wine I have been saving "just in case" for far too long, and maybe I'll have to drink some bubbles while in a whimsical frame of mind because (with a few extra wrinkles)...

 I SURVIVED!!!!!!

(I do have some few corrections to make that have to be done before the 24th November so I can graduate on the 20th December this year - eekkkkkkk graduation excitement!!!!! - but I think they are totally manageable and actually there are only 5 things I have to change, 4 of which could be done in less than an hour. One is the slightly ridiculous typo of "tichness" instead of "richness" - one has to wonder how these typos sneak in)