Heart worms

A PhD is a kind of bubble existence that is just slightly different to the real world. You can try treat it like a job (because there are a lot of stressful jobs that extend past the usual 8-5 work hours and into weekends with no real holiday) but there is something a little different about it, possibly related to the fact that you have to be examined at the end in a way that is different to a performance examination at work (which also
sounds super stressful - thank goodness I haven't had to deal with that aspect of adulthood, yet). Maybe it is because you  are working alone or maybe because you are still seen as a student, even though you aren't studying - I am not sure and this is all besides the point...





While you are in this bubble your friends that have to put up with you when you are working through the night, tearing your hair out, acting crazy, isolating yourself from the world so you can finally write up, snapping at people unpredictably, sobbing quietly on the back stairs, unable to decide the smallest every day thing because your entire brain is consumed by PhD, being completely selfish because it is the only way to finish, living on a diet of coffee or Monster or just being slightly less fun than usual (some people manage to be completely normal, of course, and these are just (possibly too many) examples and not all symptoms I experienced personally... I never drink Monster for example...) The friends that stick around you through your PhD and the new friends that you make are going to worm their way right into the depths of your heart. Those friends (and an awesome family) are the key to how to "survive your PhD".

However, there is an inevitable temporariness about post graduate studies, post doctoral and contract work. It might feel like you have been doing your PhD FOR EVER, but there will be a day when it finishes and you move on. This is also true of post docs which are just evil plots to get you to do research for the university without them having to pay you benefits (an evil plot I would happily take my place in if you want to give me a post doc!) Of course this also happens in the real world where people who have real jobs (can you imagine) and move on to a different real job (can you imagine!) but it seems to be more prevalent in my field where so many of us are on temporary contracts.

This leads to inevitable but still sad goodbyes as people leave to go to the other side of the world following their dreams/funding opportunities and the holy grail of a real job. The advantage of my field though, is that it is really quite a small community and hopefully you get to bump in to your friends again at meetings and conferences. Recently it has been so special to see some friends, that had moved back to their homes on the other side of the world post PhD/post doc, back in Cape Town. Hanging out with them truly feels like they have never left.






While this week is sad because the conference is over and they have to go back, and another friend is moving to the other side of the world (for an amazing - real job - opportunity, good luck E), I know that friends that have wormed their way into the depths of your heart will never really be that far away. The world is much smaller than it used to be. AND, I get to see another couples of "worms" next week in the warm-sea bliss of KZN! So excited! (Paid leave! This is an aspect of adulthood I fully embrace).