Octopus Garden

I recently read "Lily and the Octopus" by Steven Rowley. Lily is a dog, and one day her human notices she has a tumour which he visualises as an octopus (a talking, malevolent octopus).  The previous book I read, "The Comet Seekers"  by Helen Sedgewick also features a brain octopus (although not referred to as such). It is weird that the two books that I have picked up recently, to avoid thinking about my own octopus, have had this in common. As my sister succinctly put it: "the universe is weird sometimes". 

So, it seems I have an octopus hidden in my head. It is on my pituitary gland so is not a brain octopus, just brain-adjacent which is much better. It is small for an octopus - 3.5cm - but big for the inside of my head (as far as I am concerned). It turns out, it has probably been there for years, and I am very lucky to have found it before experiencing the truly bizarre and horrible side-effects associated with this kind of octopus - headaches really don't seem too bad when compared to some symptoms.  

M's artwork

It seems a weird thing to blog about, but maybe other people have had some of the same questions and can relate? Like, what do you wear to hospital? Why do they tape your eyes shut when under anesthetic? (That seems really weird). And has the octopus changed me in slow subtle ways that I didn't notice because it has been growing there for a number of years? (OK, that one is just for me and is an irrational fear, but I stand by the anxiety about what to wear) And why haven't I thought to ask how long the surgery is? Why do they make you go to the hospital at such an uncivilised hour (6am - in Winter!!)? And, possibly what keeps me up more than the octopus itself, how will I be able to afford octopus management? 

Is stressing about this and, worse, writing a blog, a little dramaqueen-esque? This is especially true in light of the crazy disasters happening in the country, the storm, the fires, the Zuptas and the world... This personal drama seems small by comparison. But blogs are inherently self-indulgent, right? Anyway, I started out not being sure about who to tell, or how to tell people, (it doesn't come up naturally in conversations) or whether I come across like someone desperately-seeking-attention, but now the news is out there and spreading without my help so I figured I could indulge a little.

Adult Sardine otolith (slightly chipped).
They are very pretty, delicate structures

Firstly... I am fine, I am obviously stressed/scared but I would be weird if I wasn't, right? The octopus has been there for years, so right now the only thing that is different is that I know about it. I had a totally freaked out weekend where I didn't really know what was happening (sorry to the poor people who dealt with me over that period) but am feeling calmer now. I have since seen my brain - which is pretty awesome (seeing it, that is, the brain itself is pretty average looking). And I have had everything explained to me and seen pictures with way too much detail. I have also seen up my nose - which is an experience I do not recommend (and I am not sure how children get stuff stuck up there - it hurts to shove stuff up your nose). I have seen my inner ear bones which I got a weird kick out of, although I reckon sardine otoliths (inner ear bones) are probably prettier. 

I know that the octopus has kindly shoved important brain-things out to the side rather than wrapping its tentacles around them, which means it will be easier to operate. Oh, and I know that, despite my family's teasing, my nose is not too small! The neurosurgeon and everyone I have spoken to have all been incredibly kind, and careful about explaining things to me. I now know words and facts that I didn't know before and can casually throw them into conversations... but I won't. I can now also blame the octopus when I do something dumb - even though this octopus doesn't work like that, I am going to anyway. I am tired of the anticipation of it and stressing at 3am - although I have gotten through a good number of books which is a bonus. Tuesday is both too far and too near. 

I am very grateful to know about the octopus, (NOT so stoked about it's existence, but c'est la vie). I am incredibly lucky that my GP took my headaches seriously and sent me for a scan. I will never find words to describe my gratitude to him - he is a very good doctor and not just on this occasion (Dr Parr - Brampton Family Practice - he is one of those rare doctors that doesn't give antibiotics when you have a virus and diagnosed my gall stones when others didn't). I am grateful to have such a supportive boss - who also dealt with me kindly in the panicked stage. Obviously, you all already know that I have the best family in the world (I am very grumpy about missing our family holiday,  and Kulula ripping me off, but am pleased that it means the next family holiday will also include T!) And am also incredibly lucky to have had so much support and so many people wishing me well from far-flung corners of the world. I feel kind of embarrassed and humbled to be the recipient of all those good wishes. So, I want to say thank you although those two words are really too small for what I really want to say. Don't worry I am in good hands and they will downsize this octopus and stop him getting any crazy ideas! And then, I will be back, with another self-indulgent, overly-long blog. 

Adorable frog...

If you want to do something to make me happy, sign our petition to ban microbeads or send an email to appeals.southern@capetown.gov.za asking them to do a FULL EIA before allowing (or rather, not allowing) development on the Kenilworth Racecourse Conservation Area - home of adorable frogs (and other important species and rare/endemic stuff). 







Also, I really love actual octopuses, they are among my favourites - despite the fact that the plural is a less than awesome word.  And they definitely are too smart to be eaten (another book I have been reading, Last Days of the Bus Club by Chris Stewart, said that you shouldn't eat octopus because they love beauty and use shells etc. to decorate the entrances of their burrows - the boring scientist in me thinks there might be a sexual selection aspect at play, but I do try shut her up occasionally).

"It's Rex Manning Day"

Rex Manning Day doesn't start off well. $9000 is lost to a bad dice throw (double that really, because he had actually won the first throw), Debra tries to slit her wrists, Gina and Corey have a huge flight and Corey is outed as a 'closet speed freak', Gina is called a slut and sent home from work. Poor A.J gets his heartbroken. Joe is about to lose his store... oh and Warren gets arrested and then causes a hostage situation.

"What's with today, today?" We ask ourselves... We might not have the opportunity to tell the arrogant man with bad hair to get out, his hair is stupid and that we think he's a has been. We don't get to throw a 'Damn the Man' party and sing from the roof tops. (Although if I had thought of this earlier and was more of a party person, today would be the ideal day for a 'Damn the Man' party!) We don't get to buy the thing we love back from the evil corporate minions with a vase full money... but the doesn't mean we can't do anything.

Ahhhh Mark...

I'm going to shift gears now, keep up. I haven't been sleeping well this week, and last night I had the added annoyance of a mozzie - the bane of the insomniac (I am not an insomniac it just finished the sentence better than "people who don't sleep well"). The mozzie was buzzing around my head at an indecent time of morning and I moved, as you do, to get it to shut up. And I thought, in my dreamy fuzzy way, that my huge body moving (relative to mozzie) must be really scary for the mozzie, and how brave the tiny mozzie is, to take on creatures so much bigger than themselves and how amazing that something so small can be so annoying. (Sleepy and fuzzy, remember)

So I call on all of you to be mozzies and 'damn the man' with bad hair... or no hair/shower head. Buzz... and keep them awake and uncomfortable. Because we can't kick the man with bad hair out of our store, but we can buzz.

The man isn't always the man with bad hair, he's the Clicks store that wraps each item you buy from the pharmacy in individual plastic bags and uses a cable tie that will get cut 3 minutes later when you pay; he's the restaurant that presume you want a straw or clothing shops that presume you want a bag. He's the people that discriminate against "others" whether because they are a different colour, nationality, or have a different sexual preference to them. He's the people watering their lawns in a drought. He's the climate change deniers and the senators that want to restrict the use of renewable energy. We need to be relentless and consistent in our buzzing because one guy with bad hair should not have the power to make the world a worse place. We need to be brave and persistent - like the really annoying mosquito.

Things aren't all bad. here are many more good people than bad presidents (and he might not be that bad), it's just easy for people to get overwhelmed or caught up in the busyness of surviving. I'm begging you to be active citizens in any small way you can. (Slacktivists: sign here, or here, or support what the Centre for Biological Diversity are doing or support the firefighters and other heroes making a difference). 

Finally, I apologise (but don't understand) if you haven't seen Empire Records (and therefore aren't sure what I am going on about). It's a 90 s cult classic with an amazing sound track and I guarantee that it will make you smile. Watch it. Be inspired by it. It holds up to the test of time. (Although adult me is less keen to marry Mark than teenage me was).

Damn the man... save the empire! 

P.S. Rex Manning day is supposedly on the 8th of April - according to the all knowing internet. 

Mozzie bites and memories

Do the holidays seem like they happened ages ago? Does it feel like all you have left of the holiday are mozzie bites and memories? Or are you still feeling upbeat and energised? For me, this has been a very long seeming week... and I miss having my family around. BUT, it is a whole new year!

It is 2017 and (that's ridiculous and insane and where does the time go?) the New Year gives you the opportunity to reflect on life and decide what you like and what you would like to change. It puts a full stop on the previous year, whether good or bad (even if it is a totally artificial full stop given that the 2016 day isn't extraordinarily different to the 2017 day). It gives people, organisations and countries a chance to reset their stats and try better for the year and stops the list of famous people that have died in 2016 (thank goodness). 

If you are looking for New Year's Resolutions (it really is never too late) think about becoming a revolutionist by cutting out/down on meat.  If you haven't already (and I can't imagine why not) commit to eating only sustainable seafood (check out SASSI green list or look for the MSC logo). And of course, you have already stopped using personal care products with microplastics but maybe you now want to make sure you diligently use reusable shopping bags or stop using straws (which I am all for, but it is tricky with milkshakes, so if anyone wants to buy me a reusable steel - one that's actually washable - my birthday is coming up... and so are most people's because there have only been 13 days of birthdays this year.)

Don't forget to use water as if you were paying for it - which you ARE but people don't seem to think like that (seriously, who leaves the tap running when brushing teeth - why does that even come up as a water saving tip?) You really learn to value water when it is no longer available... and that will be the reality if we don't meet the water saving targets. (El Nino might be over, but climate change isn't, and less rain is a reality of our future and "water-shedding" might be too.)

And, if you are already a Planeteer...  resolve to not let the horrible people get you down and focus on being a good example of inclusivity, tolerance and kindness. There would be less Trump in the world if people took a step out of that rat race and opened their arms to life. Do new things, open your mind to possibilities that are different and engage in conversation with people who think differently to you, or just chat with your uber driver - their lives might give yours perspective.  It's a brand shiny new year and there are loads of reasons to be hopeful and happy (just ask Bill Gates - Also, what is bubble tea?)

Find happiness in the small things like a walk on the beach! 

That's a wrap... for 2016 at least

It is almost that time of year when South Africa shuts down, and I know I won't be blogging again before the end of 2016. What a year it has been (for the world - for me, personally, it hasn't really been that noteworthy). I look forward to it being over and I hope that 2017 includes more rational decisions in the global community.  I hope that people will be kinder and make decisions that are rational rather than from a place of fear. I hope that science will not be ignored and that Trump will turn out to not be an idiot and that Zuma will stop being one. 

However, I hope to make the most of the rest of 2016 and I hope you do too. I love this time of year, I love the sunshine, the long days, the bubbles and crisp white wines. I love that I get to see most of my family and be in touch with friends I haven't spoken to in a while. 

I am looking forward to lazy days, early morning walks on the beach, plunges into the pool and cuddles with the dogs. I am looking forward to laughing and being a tiny bit silly. I can't wait to hug my folks (and all the people I love) and eat mom's mince pies. 

I am also looking forward to 2017 and making NY resolutions that I may, or may not keep. I want to explore my beautiful country more; to swim, in rivers, seas or pools; mostly, I want to make sure that no matter the number of horrible news stories I read, that I am kinder and optimistic and proactive in speaking up for things that matter to me. 

A campsite just outside Greyton. I can't wait to find more fab
places to visit in 2017! 

So, I wish you all the very best over this festive season and I hope it is safe and happy. I hope you have fun and come back to 2017 ready to also be kinder and optimistic and proactive in speaking up for things that matter to you, because, more and more, I think we need to stop relying on someone else to sort things out and we need to make sure our voices are heard. 

OK, but MOSTLY, just have a lovely festive season and drink champagne and wear sunscreen! (Apologies to those up north - but you can enjoy mulled wine and wear... LOTS!)